I guess I’ve been avoiding you for a while now haven’t I? It isn’t anything personal. I often wonder; in a searing attempt to convince you that it was nothing personal, whether our temporary time apart has not put me in the worst of fates. I’ve realized something about you, Love, you’re very misunderstood. Throughout the ages, people have anticipated an endless happiness through you. “You are the bosom of a most beautiful creature!” we simply wait all of our lives to be a part of. I don’t know if I’ve ever quite believed in you. You should know Love, that I am not currently blessed with the sunny disposition of your miraculous elixir. I am neither the receiver of the bounty of devoted appreciation, nor am I the provider of a gift I was born with. No Love, I am not with the company that would call many of my peers to say I have been blessed with your presence. However Love, I write to you now in a moment of epiphany as I have come to know the truth about you.
I was told before that “Love” was something you found in another. Get this Love, I was told that me and my soul mate would discover the greatness of each other; amongst an endless myriad of opportunities, so that we may live in perpetual happiness and die complete! Ha! I hope I can count on you in being in a state of utter bewilderment to this statement dearest Love. I never quite understood it. Well, it seems finding you Love is indeed possible. But of course it is! The world and the wondrous sages of our past have known this. It just takes some perspective to see it all over again.
People have often confused you with “Hope”; an inspirational counterpart in life. I would hate to name you something you have never been dearest Love. For you are a wonder all on your own. Blast all those who seek to impugn the wondrous name you have given our existence! Is this a tad much? Perhaps this is true. I can only say that a sensible being once said that Love is but a blossomed rose, only with thorns on its handle. See, like much of life, we expect you; dearest Love, to be as forgiving as the tamed rose. “Love should be just an arm’s reach away”, they say. Must we forget dearest Love that a rose has thorns and is always surrounded by identical siblings, wishing they could be left to the beauty and life of each other! It adds heartache; some say that we have to search for you in a world housing billions of inhabitants. We must fight through an ever increasing yearning to behold your ever glowing beauty.
Oh Love, why must you torture us! Why must you stand there and let people tear through our emotions and premature attempts at finding you over and over again; only to be left in the dark, crying for the one day when you and life will resolve to finally give us a moment of happiness! Wait. I beg forgiveness my dearest Love, for I momentarily gave in to the sensibilities of those who do not understand you. This must be a mistake; this thinking of theirs. I’ve been happy many times in my life because of you Love. I have been happy many times over and still, I have puzzled over couples believing that in that one solitary smooch they are; only then, emphatically displaying their greatest achievement in life; finding you Love. Is that odd then? That people have been happy with you before, yet, still crave to find a place in your un-denying bosom of perpetual happiness only at this specific moment in time? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but is it possible that you Love, the eternal provider of happiness must have then always been a part of our lives?
You will be told Love that you take many forms. “Love” for the family, “Love” of a lifelong friend, “Love” the person you were always meant to be with. Poppycock Love! I have felt utter and complete happiness just having you. To break you in subcategories and phases, to believe you are just an illusion relative to the “stage” of life we are in?! This, simply put Love, is infuriating! At whatever age we have found you Love; at whatever age we have come to experience your all embracing grace; at whatever moment of pure humiliation, defeat, happiness, and revelation that we have come to experience you, Love, we can make no mistake that it was and will always be the purest form of truth. It is undeniable that if a moment, one so horrible that we could only now minimally muster the courage to briefly bring to existence, should ever present itself; to think, oh no, to think we would forsake the thought of summoning you in an instant, to ask for your light in the darkest of tunnels, if for no other reason but to feel you once again; recalling the feeling of pure truth that you had brought upon us in times past, that we would not? Oh Love, in an instant we would call on your name!
Avoiding you, well, it is simply impossible Love. You come in my dreams, you come while I enjoy the company of the many people I cherish, and you come at my worst. I can never avoid you Love. It would be as if the possibility of avoiding the air I breathe or the water that keeps me alive existed. I can’t avoid you Love. I only know this: to find you, to experience everything that you have to offer, I must relinquish whatever preexisting idea I have of where I’m supposed to find you. I must let you be you and I must be me.
You are where your idealistic counterparts named: Hope, Truth and Forgiveness lie. You are where misunderstood opposites: Hatred, Fear and Betrayal have always roamed. Love, you are a shinning beacon of inspiration and a part of life. I need only give myself to you and you will find a suitable place for me. You will not only show your face and prove to me that not only have you been there my whole life, but that you will bring about the greatest euphoric state I could have asked for at any given moment! I can only forgive you for vanishing with the promise to return when I will give myself completely to you again. Love, avoiding you is simply not possible. I will forever marvel at the bewilderment you have created in my brethren, but I Love, I will always know that you will be just what you are, Love.
Created: Jul 14, 2010Document Media