HAVE YOU SEEN ME LATELY?
“Can I bum a cigarette? By the way thanks for the slip last night.” Says that soft voice as I look up from my morning coffee and cigarette. There he is standing over me blocking the light on my paper.
“Hello, Adam. What can I do for you?”
“I thought I was going to see you after the show, it was a date?”
“That’s what you thought. I don’t remember committing to anything. You assumed and I am sure you know the result of assumptions.”
“Can I join you, now?” With that he sits down with me at the table and asks the waitress.
“Hi can I get the number two, eggs over medium, crisp bacon, and a double Americano with cream, thank you.”
“Well I guess I have no choice now since you ordered”, I say looking at him grimly, “ do I?”
“Well you could tell me to fuck off or banish me to another table but you are to nice to do that.” I just give him the death look. But then I figure what the hell this guy is going out of his way to get to know me, even though I have put out the bitchy girl routine. Not that I am planning on making it easy for him but I am not naturally a bitchy person so it is hard for me to keep it up for to long. So I hand him a cigarette.
“Ok, I won’t banish you for interrupting my morning routine if you promise to answer one question honestly.”
“Do you promise to be honest, I have sources I can check this out if I think you are lying to me…”
“I promise to tell the truth.”
“No matter what?”
“No matter what.”
“You are used to women falling at you feet which is why you keep bothering me, because you don’t like the fact that I didn’t just jump in with that first line, right?”
He takes a few minutes before he speaks which gives the impression that he is actually thinking about what he is going to say.
“Well no, I don’t have women in the way that you mean. Yes, there are always women it is the nature of being a musician. But I don’t want that any more. I don’t want just any woman. And you are not just any woman, there is also I believe this sweetness underneath the attitude that you throw out. I want to see that. Then I asked around and found out who you were and I was…”
The waitress reemerges with his food and a refill for my coffee.
“Thank you. Where was I?”
“You found out who I was and...”
“Oh, yeah. So after I found out who you were I was, well enthralled. I mean really. I had been reading your articles and seeing you around for years and yet I had never really seen you. It was like living a dark room where you think you know where everything is and what it is like and then suddenly someone throws on a light switch and your world is so very different from what you thought it was.”
I give him this look dripping with my absolute doubt of his sincerity and with slight sarcasm say.
“So you’re a fan of my writing?”
“Yes, god yes…”
“What’s your favorite piece?”
This is a test; I don’t think he knows that it is. Like a foolish little bunny he is wandering blindly into the crafty hunters trap…you know I kind of feel bad for him…no really I don’t. But the bigger question is how did I end up sounding like Vince Vaughn in Swingers. Ugh! It is one of those make or break it tests that determines whether or not he is acceptable. I am grilling him with my eyes. There seems to be a hint of smugness that I didn’t like so much and then the answer.
“The piece a few months ago on (“say it,” says my mind, willing him to fail. “Say it the one on porn rights in a relationship”) men who honestly support the decision of a woman to stay home with the children seeing it as a actual job that should be credited as such.”
I am so prepared for him to fail that I get up placing three dollars on the table; and pick up my bag and paper.
“Thanks for breaking up my morning it’s been interesting. I’m sure I’ll see you around Adam.” With that I leave. He follows me out of the restaurant and stops me at the street corner.
“What was that?” I am thinking of being mean but I just can’t do it after all it was my fault.
“It was (I need a good lie and fast I can’t admit to him that I am just overreacting)… the look, that look of smugness like you had me where you wanted me. (He has this kind of confused look) I don’t like being thought of as something to be conquered. You want to take me out?”
“Well then you have to treat me like a person and not something to be had, ok.”
“Don’t say you will say you will try. Meet me at Victrola at 7:30pm. And don’t be late.”
With that I turn and leave him standing on the street corner.
As I walk to the door Adam is there, sitting at a table smoking, I note hand rolled cigarettes. And waiting with flowers, the biggest bouquet of stargazer lilies I have ever seen bound in a pale green and sky blue ribbon. My favorite flowers and colors.
“Hi, (kiss on the cheek) these are for you. I hope they are ok.”
“They are…(I wanted to say wonderful, perfect,..) Fine, thank you.” (Fine! They are perfect!)
“Well I was thinking that we could go to Linda’s for drinks and then the Capital Club for dinner. How does that sound?”
“Sure.” I liked that he had planed things.
So we walk down to Linda’s and have a few drinks. After my second, miss bitch falls away not to return again.
“Look Adam I’m sorry for the way I have been treating you. It hasn’t been fair.”
“No, you’re right. I am a pompous ass who needed his ego deflated. For the first time in a long time I have had to put some effort into hanging out with a pretty girl. Just for the record I do like this getting to know you.”
“It’s just that I haven’t had good luck with men, especially musicians. You reminded me too much of several ex’s. I guess what I am trying to say is please don’t fuck with my head.”
“I’ll do my best.”
There is a pregnant silence and then he says.
“Well we better get going, if we want to make our reservations.”
“Wait.” I stand up and kiss him. It is the best first kiss I have ever had, fireworks, love serenades, the works.
“Let’s skip dinner and just go…” I know it isn’t wise but at this moment I need to be with him.
“Are you sure?” He looks at me penetrating with his deep milk chocolate eyes. I am starting back pleading please, please just come home with me.
GOOD NIGHT ELIZABETH
Walking into my yellow door, we are pulling at each other’s clothing. Fabric and flowers dropping on the table. I am so consumed with wanting I pulled him down on the couch not even bothering to make it the few more steps to my bedroom. We sink deep, swallowed in a sea of red velveteen pillows.
“Shit. I forgot the fucking couch.”
“Yeah you really should warn people about having a man-eating couch, that is before they are caught in it.” I am sitting on his lap, chest bursting out of my shirt. He reaches up and pulls me down on top of him. He kisses me again, soft and sweet.
“Well, is there any other deadly furniture you should tell me about, a preying mantis bed or black widow carpet maybe?”
“No.” I say as I nibble on his ear. “But at midnight I turn back into a pumpkin.”
“So I am going to wake up in bed beside a gourd?”
I slept with him that night but we didn’t have sex. In fact we didn’t have sex until he moved in a few months later.
After a nice make-out session we extracted our selves from the couch and curled up together in my big bed. It was so nice to have someone else in there again. Calming, to hear his rhythmic breathing when I awoke at four am with a feeling of overwhelming fear. I was shaking so much my teeth were chattering and he just rolled over curled up and wrapped his arms around me. At that moment I felt safe again, my heart at peace, for the first time in years I fell right back to sleep.
Created: Jul 02, 2010Document Media