As I woke up this morning, bone weary of working the night before, I looked out my window and wondered if I could make it through this day again. I have every other morning, why not try again today. Got up. Put on workout clothes. Worked out till the sweat dripped into my eyes; making me look like a feral animal. Took a shower, thought about how my feet were going to carry me through my day, got out, dressed up and went into the kitchen.
I stared into my fridge for a good minute before my lead laden arms pulled out the eggs I was going to use for breakfast. As I was cracking them, I imagined the love of my life sitting across from me sipping on some coffee, looking up and giving me a warm smile that would spread throughout my chest.
I immediately dismissed that thought.
I whipped the eggs, add a few seasonings, a splash of milk, and poured the concoction into the hot frying pan. Looking at the eggs bubble and pop, I thought about the Rachel Lee Cook psa about how “this is how your mind is on drugs” and I couldn’t help but laugh. Hun, this is how my mind always is, bubbling and popping and frying away.
Toasted a few slices of wheat bread, set in on my glass plate and slid the eggs right next to it. Warmed up a got mug of green tea to reenergize and sat down in my living room where I saw him again. This time he came forward, placed a cup of coffee next to my green tea, kissed my forehead and walked away.
I immediately dismissed that thought again.
As I was finishing up my Charlie Brownsque breakfast by myself, contemplating about how my life has gotten to this point, I knew that it would always be like this. This fucking depressing cycle between my reality and imagination.
At that point, after breakfast, I decided, why not both?
Created: Aug 24, 2012MamaDeej Document Media