The Smoking Chronicles

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“I’m glad I quit smoking”
“Me too”
“I went to a small town and saw a man and a woman in a car with the windows up; they were smoking cigarettes with 3 children in the damn car”
“Is that right?”
“You would expect to see that shit in the 1970s, not 2012”
“And I saw a spit bottle under the seat in a bus. A man came up to me, grabbed it out of my hand and said ‘You darn gon found my terbacco bottle!!!’ He then spat a long, black strand of tobacco into the bottle and walked away”
“That’s pretty disgusting”
“What the hell am I supposed to do on the porch now that I quit smoking? Am I just going to sit out there and stare at the sky?”
“Stars are nice to look at…”
“They don’t move from the same fucking spot I initially saw them in”
“Hm…sounds like you have a Masters in Astronomy?”
“Who the hell looks at the stars anymore? What’s going to happen when I am having a conversation with someone and the awkward moment approaches? That is usually the time I take a drag from my cigarette”
“Bring a water bottle”
“You know people who smoke cigarettes are at a lower risk of getting dementia?”
“Probably because they don’t live long enough to approach the age of dementia…”
“…and did you know that people who smoke cigarettes are documented to have fewer mental illnesses than people who don’t?”
“That’s what red wine and bourbon are for”
“You know the people who are around the cigarette smoke have more complications than people smoking the cigarettes?”
“Good to know. Please inform me more.”
“Fuck this shit. I need a cigarette. Want one?”
“No thanks.”

Created: Aug 22, 2012


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