Lola was an odd but plain young lady, always second guessing herself; never quite fitting in. She often wondered to herself just exactly what is it that makes her so very different from everyone else? For Lola had not yet realized that everyone is just a little bit different, and everyone deals with these feelings of awkwardness and embarrassment. In truth, she had never worked up the courage to ever talk to anyone else about these feelings, or any other for that matter. She meandered aimlessly and alone through life always hoping to one day make a friend. At this point she didn’t even know where to start in that adventure; she had gone so long now without a companion to share the moments of this life with. As her uneventful and solitary life etched on, every day the same as the last; she began to isolate herself more and more. Having lost hope in life giving her someone she could easily talk to, she began to have conversations with herself. She would talk to herself about everything; weather, news, her feelings of increasing despair and rejection from the world, her fear of putting herself “out there”, that guy that smiled at her in the book store. She did enjoy her self loathing and somehow narcissistic visits with herself, but they left her wanting more. Unsatisfied she carried on day after day reverting farther and farther into herself.
Until one day, as she was walking down the street as she usually does on Wednesday afternoons, when she sat down on a bench to eat her routine Wednesday afternoon hot dog. As she perched eating her processed and salty hump day lunch she noticed something very strange. Could it actually be? No, there is no way. But then there she is, directly across the fountain in the exact opposite bench as her; eating a hot dog. It can’t be her own self, that simply is not possible, but how could her eyes play this kind of trick on her? It was clearly a woman who looked exactly like her, was dressed just the same as she was and was eating her customary Wednesday lunch. Had she gotten so out of touch with the world that she just fell through a small opening in the fabric of reality? Had she been abducted by aliens? How could this be happening? Should she go over there and see what this was? As far as she knew, she herself could be the second her and the one across the way could very well be the original. No, that’s crazy; she thought to herself. She decided to just leave that awkward absurdity right where she found it and left the bench for a change of scenery.
As she wondered aimlessly she couldn’t keep her mind off of the strange sight she had so recently witnessed. She found herself alone in the park, the sound of traffic and cars subsiding into the back ground; the eerie sounds of an empty park rushing to the fore ground. Not having the busyness of the city to distract her took her thoughts immediately back to the woman, her “doppelganger” perhaps. Just then she locked gazes with an oddly familiar set of eyes rounding the bend and heading directly her way. Her first reaction, though entirely paralyzed by this repeated awkward and strange occurrence was to run away as fast as she could; but she noticed the “other her” seemed to have had the same reaction. After a much needed pep talk she talked herself into going over to herself and asking herself just exactly what was going on.
She did not think this out very thoroughly though. Apprehensively she approached her own double and noticed that they both wore the same awkward and embarrassed facial expression. Well if she was going to talk to anyone it may as well be someone just like her, literally. She began to feel silly for being so scared and self conscious after all she was staring at herself, if she didn’t like her than who else could?
“Hello” she said overwhelmed with timidity.
“Hello?” said the other her.
“How have you come to be here?” she decided to ask. It seemed like an appropriate question.
“You are here, are you not? And so I am here.”
“What on earth is that supposed to mean? I think we both realize that we are the same person, but how is that possible?”
“How is it possible? You or rather we have created this other person to talk to, to be friends with and share life with. I am a representation of yourself as well as all that you wish you had a in a friend. I gotta say though, it is sure nice to be out here in the real world. Your mind is a little bit sad and lonely; I just had to get out of there. I’m not sure how I managed, but it is sure nice to be out here in the world with hot dogs and eerie parks and city commotion.”
Lola was frightened and confused by this sudden self bombardment. If she didn’t all ready feel awkward enough as it is, she was certainly feeling out of place now. But why should she feel out of place? She is the real her, or at least she thinks she is. The self conscious and strange loner had no one to turn to for help, except herself; now that she had this clone. She did not think that this osmosis Lola was going to go away very easily, but she certainly didn’t want her to stick around. She was awkward enough as it was.
As the week went on it became more difficult to have the second Lola around. The original Lola went about trying to show this self produced imposter how awful and frightening the world outside her mind was, but this new her did not feel the same way. How could that even be? “The more of this life you show me the less I want to integrate back into your mind.” Says the duplicate one day, as they were atop a city building looking out on the daily mundane on goings of life. “You see, Lola, your mind is much more hostile than this reality you have shown me. And, I think that if you want to hide from it, than you are the one who should integrate into my mind. I want to live.”
At this Lola was taken back, she had not thought about it that way. Should she? It is a tempting offer. She had spent a life time at this point trying to get out of the world or at least revert into a shell and hide. But something in her was aroused at the passion with which her twin said “I want to live.” A sudden rush of life and intensity burst into her perspective. As she gazed down at the city she began to see things she had not noticed when first they scaled the building. There was an old man lending his hand to an old woman on the bench. She took his hand and looked up at him with a youthful and smitten expression. Just behind this scene was a small boy being picked on by a group of boys, for a moment her heart began to sink again, but then a little girl came up and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed and smiled at her and then they walked off together. A cab driver nearby stopped in the middle of the street to help a squirrel trapped in a gutter drain.
She gazed at the city with her new perspective all day and into the night. Every new sight brought with it more hope and confidence. As she did this she felt a peace come over her, until finally she turned to tell her alter self about these unfamiliar and exciting ideas; nobody was there. It was just her and her new perspective and the world at her feet.
Created: Aug 21, 2012Jingles Document Media