If you could see me now, shit lover you wouldn’t believe it. I’m different now beyond all that nine to five shit. I’m skating from office to office gliding among the daydreamers and office politics. Dancing around what people want but can’t have. Blameless affairs, Relationships without conflict. With that bad fucking hair cut and the same blood stained combats trousers and tatty south park T-shirt I fly through the air like a pissed up Bruce Lee. I see the world so tiny and small. If this is the afterlife then it’s life’s biggest joke. It’s only now I see the world and I feel awake. For the first time, my eyes are open. Options and choices mean nothing now. I have none really. Disappointment and fear do not fill me, bitterness should hit me like that car did. Full on. Without warning, but strangely doesn’t. The worst has happen already I guess, has it not? I’m slipping around the world like a fart in a lift no one owns up to. Sticking the hairs up on the back of peoples necks, making them look over their shoulder. Well it gives me a laugh anyway. I’ve been travelling and seen the in minds eye of an old man from Japan the bomb go off at Nagasaki. Helped a million school kids find the answer to that maths sum that they can’t figure. Given lovers second thoughts after they think of throwing it away. See what rock stars get up to behind stage. I see no others here like me. None of our relations long gone, no grannies or granddads. No Gods as of yet to show their face tapping me on the shoulder telling me my times up. It’s just me sitting on the wings of jumbo jets giving the birds the instinct to miss the engines. Now I’m back Shelley, I’m back for you. I think you need someone to tell you what you look like. You may consider this part of your downward spiral.
Voices in your head, especially that of tour dead boyfriend. Before you go off and do something stupid do something you've never done before and listen to me. Really listen and give me a chance here. I should have made you my first stop, but there's a whole world out there to see. There's the thing, it's only when you lose somthing you appreciate.
I want you to stop sending all day in doors, grieving. Not taking calls living like a fucking hermit.
I'm like a fly in amber. I'm stuck in your head. As long as you remeber my name i'm not going anywhere lover. You better belive it.
There's a whole world out there for you. All you have to do is reach out.
Created: Aug 20, 2012TheBemusedScribbler Document Media