All Thumbs

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I'm all thumbs today. Three thousand four hundred and sixty-two of them to be precise. Don’t know how I know that, I just do. Woke up like this. All thumbs. It was weird at first, a little freaky but you get used to it. Yesterday I had two left feet and that was quite difficult to work with but today, it’s thumbs.


I looked at all the ones I could see and they look pretty much like my regular thumbs. They’re stubby and they have nails on the end. I know that’s a vague description but who really ever studies their thumbs? Thought about painting them all but I don’t have the time. Besides, have you ever tried to paint your nails when you’re all thumbs? Nightmare!


I had butterflies in my tummy a couple weeks ago. Now that was weird. You’d think they’d get squished in there or dissolved by the acid but no, they were in there for days fluttering about. Had an operation to get them removed. Twelve of them in total, all lime green if you can believe it. I’d show you the stiches but I wouldn’t know where to start looking in my current state. You’ll just have to take my word for it.


I think the easiest change to adapt to was having a twinkle in my eye. It was more of an inconvenience for others than for me. It was brilliant at night time, like I had a torch in my head. I went camping that weekend with my friends Thomas who owns an abattoir, Richard who is a pastry chef and Harold who works at Madame Tussauds. Good guys, we had a good time.


Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’ve got some errands to run.  Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow? It’s unlikely I’ll be totally back to normal but let’s hope it’s something minor. And yes, I will make sure not to go swallowing any more seeds. Having said that, the apple tree is doing surprisingly well now that I’ve replanted it in the garden. Hey, maybe I’ll get green fingers tomorrow!

Created: Aug 20, 2012

Tags: nonsense, silly sayings

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