"Im sorry Mom, finals are this week,
Looks like I won't be making the family reunion."
"Good news Miss Lohan,
Your herpes test came back negative."
Clean Bill of Health
"Sorry I was late for our celibacy support group,
I was busy helping an elderly lady across the street."
"Not only does that dude refuse to use any restroom but his own,
but he also has plastic over all his furniture."
"I've tried every cleaner in the house,
And I still can't get the vomit smell out of the carpet."
"Hey everyone, the cops are coming:
hide the drugs!"
"Please officer, I know I was speeding,
but there must be something I can do…?"
"Im Joey Greco from a tv show called 'Cheaters'.
You wanna tell me what's going on in this video?"
"Alright bitch, empty your pockets,
And no hair pulling either!"
Created: Aug 18, 2012jhuggles Document Media