This morning, after

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I left her house long after the sun had risen. I watched the light turn from rich orange to bright white through her curtains as she lay asleep on my arm. I had been awake for about an hour, staring up at the pressed ceiling. I was alone. Thank god.

I was going to be late for work, but it didn't really matter, "it's Friday," I told myself.

I felt her slowly waking up, her breathing changed and she pushed her head against my chest in prelude to her morning stretch.

She woke.

Her grey green eyes searched my face, remembering the passion we shared the night before, wondering how I felt. Would this be an awkward morning for us? We had met a few weeks back and cultivated the better part of our "relationship" via text message. We felt familiar. The double-edged weapon of modern communication, I suppose.

I held her gaze, smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "Why did I just do that?" I asked myself. "God, you're digging yourself in deep." Part force of habit, part doing what I knew she wanted me to do, I felt the deep dread of impending guilt as she sighed at me. The guilt was nothing too severe; nothing I wouldn't get passed by the end of the day. But I didn't want to lead her on. Too late you fool.

"Find me on facebook, you dick head," she said smiling as I left through her sliding door into the bright, harsh light. I told her I would. And I probably will, in a little while.

I went home and got in the shower and did my best to cleanse myself. And here I sit at my desk, smelling of Mint Pine Fusion, with a conscience that was anything but clean.

Created: Aug 17, 2012


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