A Mundaine Existence: Issue 1

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Gather around everyone, wanna hear how my day went? Nobody ever does. I suggest if you want to save yourself some idiotic rants, press back. Still here? Fine. Here's the deal, I'm Jack, and I am going to vent to you from now on, so long as you listen. Here goes, I work at the local supermarket- by the way, how many of you have had a grown ass fifty-something year old man throw an 18L jug of water at you?If you have, then maybe you and I will get along.


This old fucker comes waltzing in, like he owns the place. Strolls up to the desk, asks for the deposit on a jug we clearly do not accept. I could tell by the color let alone the size, that we wouldn't touch it. I promptly told him we don't accept those. He looked at me like I just reached up and broke my own jaw, then proceeded to hump the desk like a horny chimp, (which believe me was not the case, this time). But after working here for about three years this summer, I know better. I told him again, that I was positive we do not accept them.


How positive?:- Old F*cker


(In my head: Duh positive two?) Quite. You'll find the 18L bottles behind you, those you can get deposits on:- Me


He went and got one, grabbed it and proceeded to throw it at the desk, and I mean threw it, like he pitched for the Sox. If my hand hadn't of been out, it had hit me and I'd have been soaked. And if that had of happened, I'd have vaulted around the corner and beat the age out of him. Don't care, I am not paid enough to put up with this shit, I'm a university student goddamnit. However, we've all been here haven't we? Well apparently this clown hadn't.


Literally at my wits end, I rang him through and got rid of him. I swear if he had not have left any sooner than he did, I would have had to follow him home, and egg his house, like that one time...What? Didn't I tell you? Ok, I'll fill you in next time, that one time I egged a Marine's house, oh yeah! Wanna hear how I got out of that unscathed/alive? Read my next issue. Later!


-Jack


By Brady aka Damaged Cat

Created: Aug 17, 2012

Tags: satire, fiction, story

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