Bobcat bitchslap

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"Aghchoooo!"
Damned sawdust! What idiot thought sawdust was the answer to all animal stuffing requirements? There he goes again, got another one on the workbench. Looks like a weisel? Hard to tell from this angle, looking kinda flat right now, reminds me of a piece of roadkill I saw once when I was out hunting one evening. There I was zipping through the trees, stalking a juicy little rat, and happened to notice a squashed 'something' on the asphalt. Might once have been a vole? Well it was a brown furry mess by then.
Ugh! Seriously that hook thingy gives me the creeps. Glad I was still floating in the ether when he did me. What you don't know can't hurt you indeed! I only had one question when I floated back to my body...why do I look so freaked out!?!Couldn't he have at least attempted to make me look less shell shocked? Serene even. Hadn't ever envisioned my taxidermied body giving small children nightmares, but hey can't do anything about it now. Well...I could give frankennutter over there a little shock. You know, just a little something to keep the blood pumping, remind him what some animals are capable of...
Heh heh heh, just gotta get him over here. I give my stuffed body a little spirit shake, rattling the base of my stand. He looks up all wild eyed and disheveled. Seriously the guy could double as nosferatu most days! He approaches my stuffed body cautiously eyeing it with suspicion, still clutching that freaky looking hook. I wait till he's inches from my stuffed face, nearly nose to nose. Then with every ounce of spirit energy I can muster I give myself a swift shove and I topple nose first into his face! Oh god, the look on his face! Brilliant, he looked like he was almost having a heartattack as he fell over backward with my body! If I wasn't already dead I think I'd die laughing. This afterlife stuff has a lot to be said for it, though getting hit by that truck was kinda tough. Still astounded I didn't get totally flattened! Oh well, back to stalking this guy. Wonder what else I can do...

Created: Jul 26, 2012

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