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Trying so hard to doze off, hoping to finally fall asleep and put your mind to rest, but you suddenly feel it hit you like a giant wave. Why must I be cursed with you, depression? You’re the only thing that has stayed with me for the past few years, through everything, even though I never wanted your company. I’m trying to be happy, I swear, I am. I’m making more of an effort than I ever have. I’m starting college and attempting to do something with my life. Am I only digging myself deeper into the hole, by not doing what I truly want? I’m faking it like the rest. We’re such a sad, sad lot. Everything that we base our lives off of is materialistic. We need money to get anywhere, or so we’re taught from the beginning. It sickens me to my very core. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and when I’ll ever free myself, but I know that I can’t put up with this forever. No, my depression doesn’t have an easy cure, but I know that there are ways I could make myself a much happier person. Traveling and exploring this beautiful Earth is what has been on my mind for as long as I can remember. I want to escape this prison, I want to see what I haven’t seen, there is so fucking much. I don’t want to waste years in school or at a dead-end job. I’d rather be living day by day, with little to no money, than living the “social norm.” When will I just fucking do it? This is my only chance, this is the only life I’ll live. 

Created: Jul 26, 2012


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