The Three Headed Conversation

Cover Image

This is a conversation between three animals that have been mounted on the wall of a hunter. It would be funny if you read the deer's speech like Doug, the dog from 'Up', the fish's lines read like Chris Rock, and the lion's head like Samuel L Jackson. Imagine this as a short film. Please stick with it!

(Fish begins to regain consciousness, speech begins slow)

Fish: Awww man. Where...where am I? Why am I stuck on a piece of oak?!

Lion's head: (Begins to chuckle) Son, looks like you just got yourself caught

Fish: What are you talking about?

Lion: What's the last thing you remember?

Fish: I was...I was swimming, when this little shiny fish just swam right past, pretty little thing she was too. I swam across to lay some moves down on her, when this sharp pain went into my cheek and (realisation) ohhhh...

Lion: Well, looks like you're gonna be here a very long time

(Voice of the lion 'a very long time' echoes as camera goes to a close up of the fish's spinning head, after a few seconds, camera pans out, echo stops but Lion is still repeating 'a very long time'

Lion: A very long time, a very long time...

Fish: Would you stop that! Am I going to be here for...for ever?

Lion: Do fish live in the sea?

Fish: Oh damn

Lion: Does a bear shit in the woods?

Fish: Yeah, I got it cat

Lion: Does Jay Z have 99 problems?!

Fish: Hey! I said I got it!

Deer: I am a deer

Fish: (to deer) What's your problem?

Deer: I am a big deer

Fish: (talking over the deer) Hey I....I'm talking to you!

Lion: (to fish) It's no use, he's brain dead

Fish: What happened?

Deer: (talking over the fish and the lion) I am a great big deer

Lion: He got a shot right to the head when they hunted him, lost half his brain, and now...he's just dumb

Deer: I have two gigantic horns

Lion: (to the deer) for the last time, they ain't horns....

Deer: (interrupting) I have two gigantic horns that are really long.

Lion: Why do I try

Deer: I am above the fire, because I am a majestic deer.

(Gun echoes in the distance)

Lion: Oh, looks like we got our selves fresh blood!

Fish: I can't see, what is it?

(Lion looks horrified. Hunter enters the room, leaves an anaconda on the table under the lions head)

Lion: Oh hell no! I'm sick and tired of these mother fucking snakes, in this mother fucking terrain!

If you're reading this, congratulations! Feel free to add/remove anything.

The Spencer

Created: Jul 24, 2012


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