This is a conversation between three animals that have been mounted on the wall of a hunter. It would be funny if you read the deer's speech like Doug, the dog from 'Up', the fish's lines read like Chris Rock, and the lion's head like Samuel L Jackson. Imagine this as a short film. Please stick with it!
(Fish begins to regain consciousness, speech begins slow)
Fish: Awww man. Where...where am I? Why am I stuck on a piece of oak?!
Lion's head: (Begins to chuckle) Son, looks like you just got yourself caught
Fish: What are you talking about?
Lion: What's the last thing you remember?
Fish: I was...I was swimming, when this little shiny fish just swam right past, pretty little thing she was too. I swam across to lay some moves down on her, when this sharp pain went into my cheek and (realisation) ohhhh...
Lion: Well, looks like you're gonna be here a very long time
(Voice of the lion 'a very long time' echoes as camera goes to a close up of the fish's spinning head, after a few seconds, camera pans out, echo stops but Lion is still repeating 'a very long time'
Lion: A very long time, a very long time...
Fish: Would you stop that! Am I going to be here for...for ever?
Lion: Do fish live in the sea?
Fish: Oh damn
Lion: Does a bear shit in the woods?
Fish: Yeah, I got it cat
Lion: Does Jay Z have 99 problems?!
Fish: Hey! I said I got it!
Deer: I am a deer
Fish: (to deer) What's your problem?
Deer: I am a big deer
Fish: (talking over the deer) Hey I....I'm talking to you!
Lion: (to fish) It's no use, he's brain dead
Fish: What happened?
Deer: (talking over the fish and the lion) I am a great big deer
Lion: He got a shot right to the head when they hunted him, lost half his brain, and now...he's just dumb
Deer: I have two gigantic horns
Lion: (to the deer) for the last time, they ain't horns....
Deer: (interrupting) I have two gigantic horns that are really long.
Lion: Why do I try
Deer: I am above the fire, because I am a majestic deer.
(Gun echoes in the distance)
Lion: Oh, looks like we got our selves fresh blood!
Fish: I can't see, what is it?
(Lion looks horrified. Hunter enters the room, leaves an anaconda on the table under the lions head)
Lion: Oh hell no! I'm sick and tired of these mother fucking snakes, in this mother fucking terrain!
If you're reading this, congratulations! Feel free to add/remove anything.
Created: Jul 24, 2012TheSpencer10 Document Media