The Three Headed Conversation

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This is a conversation between three animals that have been mounted on the wall of a hunter. It would be funny if you read the deer's speech like Doug, the dog from 'Up', the fish's lines read like Chris Rock, and the lion's head like Samuel L Jackson. Imagine this as a short film. Please stick with it!


(Fish begins to regain consciousness, speech begins slow)


Fish: Awww man. Where...where am I? Why am I stuck on a piece of oak?!


Lion's head: (Begins to chuckle) Son, looks like you just got yourself caught


Fish: What are you talking about?


Lion: What's the last thing you remember?


Fish: I was...I was swimming, when this little shiny fish just swam right past, pretty little thing she was too. I swam across to lay some moves down on her, when this sharp pain went into my cheek and (realisation) ohhhh...


Lion: Well, looks like you're gonna be here a very long time


(Voice of the lion 'a very long time' echoes as camera goes to a close up of the fish's spinning head, after a few seconds, camera pans out, echo stops but Lion is still repeating 'a very long time'


Lion: A very long time, a very long time...


Fish: Would you stop that! Am I going to be here for...for ever?


Lion: Do fish live in the sea?


Fish: Oh damn


Lion: Does a bear shit in the woods?


Fish: Yeah, I got it cat


Lion: Does Jay Z have 99 problems?!


Fish: Hey! I said I got it!


Deer: I am a deer


Fish: (to deer) What's your problem?


Deer: I am a big deer


Fish: (talking over the deer) Hey I....I'm talking to you!


Lion: (to fish) It's no use, he's brain dead


Fish: What happened?


Deer: (talking over the fish and the lion) I am a great big deer


Lion: He got a shot right to the head when they hunted him, lost half his brain, and now...he's just dumb


Deer: I have two gigantic horns


Lion: (to the deer) for the last time, they ain't horns....


Deer: (interrupting) I have two gigantic horns that are really long.


Lion: Why do I try


Deer: I am above the fire, because I am a majestic deer.


(Gun echoes in the distance)


Lion: Oh, looks like we got our selves fresh blood!


Fish: I can't see, what is it?


(Lion looks horrified. Hunter enters the room, leaves an anaconda on the table under the lions head)


Lion: Oh hell no! I'm sick and tired of these mother fucking snakes, in this mother fucking terrain!


If you're reading this, congratulations! Feel free to add/remove anything.


The Spencer

Created: Jul 24, 2012

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