Kim has known she was different from a very young age. There was just something about her that was different than the other kids. She liked different things. She wanted different things. She thought maybe it was because of the tragedy she had suffered as a child. That her pain is what made her different.
When she started seventh grade all her friends started dating. They weren’t really dating, no actual relationships but they would hold hands, sit next to each other at lunch, call each other names like sweetie and honey. All her friends tried to get her to date, but she blew them off saying her parents would never allow it. Truthfully though she just wasn’t interested in any of the guys at school. None of them. Not one bit. There was someone, Ailesha. Every time she saw her Kim would get a weird felling in her stomach and her cheeks would turn bright red. She knows now that it was attraction and bashfulness she was feeling, but back then she didn’t know what to think.
It wasn’t until high school that she finally realized who she was. She didn’t tell people though, she was ashamed that she was different and afraid. She feared her parents would disown her, her friends would hate her. She was right. When she finally got the courage to admit who she was, the first step in making her new life, she realized the second step, finding others who would accept her, was much harder. For a while she was friendless.
Everyone she knew stared at her with glares of deception and question. Everything she used to say and do was a lie. She threw away her perfect false reality, for a real one that was full of imperfection. That is what they thought of her, an imperfection of human nature. A disgrace to humanity. They wondered and pondered and accused her with their eyes. They talked behind her back and beat her with their whys. They did not understand, she barely understood why she is what she is. She is different.
Being different does not make you worthless, it makes you special. Those who judged her because she’s different well....who says their opinions matter anyway. It was hard, really hard for a while. Her whole life changed and for a while it sucked. Her friends hated her, her parents were disgusted by her. It got better. She met others like her who were different. She turned her supposed imperfect reality into one that was good. Into one where she is happy. Kim lived with her secret desire for years, she believed the truth would cause to much pain to bear, so she lied to herself and others. Now that the truth is out, she realizes the greater pain is hiding the truth and pretending to be anyone but the wonderful, unique, special you, you are.
Created: Jul 23, 2012Kathryn Curtis Document Media