Running (Quite Like) Water

Cover Image

There is a place that I go, behind closed lids that give way to a familiar red-tinted blackness, beyond thoughts of normality and reality, where the deep, gentle inhale of my lungs leads to the exhale that, ultimately, pushes me over the brink of non-existence. In that place, it doesn't and can't hurt, I won't allow it and those strangling hands dare not follow me there. I am only present in mind and soul and pure body, free of the physical attachments that do not belong in such a place. There is where I take solace, there is where the arms of life wrap around me and embrace me with the sentiment of a mother to her child. It is where I go to survive.
On this night, my feet have followed the crooked paths between trees, my hands have stroked against bark and branch. I have traveled from where bricks create big houses and asphalt creates busy, life-dictating freeways, to the area where the wind between the leaves masks the sound of car horns and screaming children. All around me, there is a singular presence, one composed of a thousand life forms guarding a single concept - peace. Amongst these watchful eyes, one's heart can reach out and grasp a guiding hand. It is in doing so that I find the leaf-encrusted path beneath me end, and the feeling of warmth between my toes begin.
The beach before me is nothing more than white, translucent particles of sand ending in clear sky-colored water. In the distance, that water meets a dark sky in one fluid path, beckoning curiosity as to what may lay ahead of that path. Eternity, perhaps. The night has blanketed this scene, but only partially - like a crisp snow in mid-winter, the moonlight covers everything, glorified against sand and water and pale, freckled skin. I inhale deliberately slow, exhaling with somewhat of a hushed sigh, arms suddenly outstretched and palms up. My feet have become half-buried in the heat of the sand beneath them, and I find myself wiggling my toes, disturbing the balance of the landscaping. I want it all, like a midnight flower I can feel myself growing under the light of what keeps me alive, and at once, I run. They have led me to the place beyond boundaries, somewhere that stretches forever, and it is against this forever that I run in small, playful strides. I race the tide, it only shifts because I have willed it to, energetic stallions rising and falling with each breath I take. Even silhouetted against the moonlit sky, you cannot see the blush that momentarily stains my cheeks, emotions in a crescendo.
With a half-twirl, my knees give out from under me, as graceful a fall as I can muster. The sand feels silky against my skin, and my fingers lose themselves amongst that feeling, hands grasping and tugging as if in the throes of love making. It is silk like water that fluidly escapes my touch, leaving the slightest of a trace against my palms. I am not meant to have it, any of what is around me, neither the sand, nor the moon that protects me from above. Merely, I am to co-exist in this world where existence is more than a concept. Each breath is, each thought is, there are no questions and there are no doubts. When I am in this place, it is the sounds against my ears that soothe me, the sand against my skin that caresses me, the gentle purity of running like water that saves me.

Created: Jul 22, 2012


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