The Diner

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The sun was beginning to set over the open Kansas road. Charlie had become fatigued after hours of driving and knew he would have to pull over soon.


“Babe, let’s stop to get something to eat and get you behind the wheel; I’m exhausted.”


Jules agreed, and when the couple came across an isolated diner minutes later, they pulled into the empty lot and headed in to satiate their appetites.


The diner inside was musty and worn down. The walls adorned with pictures of long-dead athletes partially covering peeling green paint and conservative talk radio echoed throughout the room. An old man pushed through the kitchen doors and shuffled slowly toward the table.


“What can I get for you young whippersnappers?”


The duo both ordered a hamburger and french fries, and watched the old man head back to the kitchen to cook their food.


“How can someone be severely balding but still grow a full beard?” Jules asked Charlie.


“I don’t know. How can your cat shed so much all over my shit but still be covered in fur?”


And with Charlie’s retort, the duo ended their conversation and fiddled with their cell phones until their food arrived at the table.


The old man had also made himself a burger and sat down at a nearby table, watching the two eat in silence while still gazing at their phones.


“You kids ain’t from around here, are yas?”


Charlie shook his head no.


“Just passing thru?”


“Yes.”


“Where yas twos from?”


“California.”


“Where yas headed?”


“East.”


Jules finished her food and headed off to use the bathroom.


By the time she returned, Charlie was on his last bite, and the old man came over to give them the bill and take their dishes.


Suddenly Charlie stands up, and pulls a gun out of his trench pocket, pointing it at the old man.


“GIVE ME ALL YOUR HAMBUGER BUNS!”


Shocked, the old man pauses in bewilderment.


“Pardon?”


“YOUR HAMBUGER BUNS. I WANT YOUR HAMBUGER BUNS. ALL OF THEM.”


Scared and confused, the old man complies and hands over all nineteen bags of hamburger buns in his inventory to Jules and Charlie.


Charlie then locks the old man in the bathroom, and the duo head out to their van. They open the back door and throw the bags of hamburger buns onto the top of their previously acquired goods, including a dozen bottles of ketchup, partially thawed frozen french fries, and rotting hot dogs.


Jules gets behind the wheel and starts the car, while Charlie is in the passenger seat, rubbing his hands together in a sadistically clichéd manner.


“By the time we get to New Jersey we will have all the supplies we need to open our own diner!”


Exhausted and excited, the looting entrepreneurs laugh maniacally as they head west on the moonlit Kansas road.

Created: Mar 29, 2012

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