Heist. (warning: explicit language heavy)

Cover Image

“Shit, you shot me man! Fuck!”
“I’m sorry. It’s just the leg?”
“No! It’s the fucking knee-cap! Jesus I loved these trousers too.”
“I’ll buy you new trousers, calm down.”
“Calm… Calm down? You’re right I’m sorry; I’m over reacting NO I WILL NOT FUCKING CALM DOWN! You know the worst thing to tell someone who is not calm is to calm down ‘specially when they’ve been FUCKING SHOT!”
“You know it’s also not great to shout at the guy who just shot you when he’s still holding the gun.”
“Well, I apologise unreservedly, why don’t you come over here and we’ll hug it out.”
“What seriously?”
“NO! Jesus Christ.”
“You know I don’t understand sarcasm.”
“Yes you fucking do, you just pretend not to in order to piss me off.”
“Stop swearing. We’re on TV.”
“Oh brilliant, helicopters. They can’t hear us though.”
“Oh, that’s good. I can pretend you’re my hostage now, how about that? Then they won’t attack.”
“Well luckily you’ve already shot me in the leg.”
“Silver lining?”
“Don’t push it… You know I’ve never seen this much blood. It’s more red than you expect.”
“I am sorry I shot you man. Seriously. I hope you can still walk and stuff.”
“That’s very touching. Let’s just focus on not being killed first eh? Oh, and apology not accepted.”
“Okay, how about now?”
“JESUS! Oh that’s great.”
“Well now we’re even!”
“Not we BOTH can’t walk!”
“Oh. Right yeah. Shit you’re right this does hurt.”
“I think you’re bleeding more than I am actually.”
“You technically made me shoot myself, so I’m pretty pissed at you.”
“I swear to god.”
“I think they’ve got guns up there you know.”
“Oh god… I don’t… Are you sure?”
“Yeah look, right there.”
“No, come on don’t point with your gun.”
“I’m not kidding look!”
“I believe you stop pointing at the BIG guns with your TINY gun!”
“Oh it’s not tha-“
“NO. Oh Christ… No… Why. Fuck. Why. You IDIOT! I told you not to point with the gun and you pointed with the fucking gun WHY? Why do you never listen? You never listen and now you have no face. ‘Look, I’m a fucking IDIOT and I’m going to point at this FUCKING helicopter machine gun with my gun an-”

Created: Feb 22, 2012


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