Cthulhu Musical, Act 1, Scene 1

By ManWithHat

First of all, I want to emphasize that this is a first draft and that I want people to put their hands on this and change it. I want remixing and revising to happen. This is imperfect yet. But this is the first draft. For those viewers who are not on HitRecord, the lyrics are listed under "references" at the bottom of the page.

~~~~
Unnamed Cthulhu Musical book
Act 1, Scene 1

Lights rise on a busy New York City, NY street in lower Manhattan as the overture begins. Two chorus members enact a lovers' quarrel, while a pick-pocket steals their baubles. A beggar aggressively solicits change from passers-by. Erich Zann walks on stage, sets up his busking station, and tunes his instrument (Note: If a viol player is not available to play Zann, a prodigious player of another instrument would suffice, so long as rad solos can be played on it). After a few beats of this hubbub, a chorus member enters as an apple salesman.

APPLE SALESMAN:
Apples here! Get yer apples! Nice and sweet, great to eat! Get 'em while they're ripe! That's right, just apples! All I sell! Tasty, delicious apples! Symbols of life, youth and fertility! Get 'em while they're ripe! Nice and sweet, great to eat! Get yer-

Two chorus members, dressed as fearsome cult-members, sneak up behind the apple salesman and then, with suddenness and furtiveness, drag him off-stage. Zann plays the opening notes of the next song...

SONG: NEW YORK IS AWESOME (MONSTROUS AND ABOMINABLE)

After the song, most of the chorus members exit the stage, save for the beggar, who appears to be passed out, and two chorus members dressed as yuppies.

YUPPIE 1:
Hey there, Taylor!

YUPPIE 2:
Hey there, Jen!

YUPPIE 1:
You look pretty sharp today.

YUPPIE 2:
Not half as dazzling as you!

They share a hearty laugh.

YUPPIE 1:
Hey, have you felt a little bit, I don't know, strange lately?

YUPPIE 2:
I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Jen.

YUPPIE 1:
Don't tell anyone, they'd laugh you straight out of the room, but... I've been having some weird dreams.

YUPPIE 2:
Maybe you should lay off the Thai food, huh?

YUPPIE 1:
I dream of an enormous, forbidding city under the sea, made of terrible stones not of this world, with doors leading to abysses of the universe not fit to be tramped by the feet of humanity. And there's a voice, a voice so deep and wild as to drive a person insane. I can't make out what the voice says, but it's something frightening, something that disquiets the very deepest core of my being. And when I wake up, I look down, and there's a pen in my hand. While rapt in horrible visions brought by sleep, my hands have been at work drawing something. Something... Like this!

She unfolds a great, foreboding manuscript, featuring alien hieroglyphs and the image of a tentacled face, the face of dread Cthulhu!

BEGGAR:
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

YUPPIE 2:
Get a job, you drunk!

YUPPIE 1:
Isn't it strange?

YUPPIE 2:
Well, I'll be a hot damn scandal, Jen! I didn't know you were an artist!

YUPPIE 1:
I've been taking classes at the community center. What do you think?

YUPPIE 2:
Well, all I know is that it'd be a hell of a thing to put on the wall at home!

YUPPIE 1:
I think it's a sign, Taylor. I think it's a sign of things to come. Something monstrous is coming to New York City, New York, Taylor. Something horrible.

YUPPIE 2:
If it's a sign, I sure as hell can't read it. Is it in Mexican?

The sound of an approaching, hideous crowd sounds from off-stage.

YUPPIE 2:
What, is it Mardi Gras already?

YUPPIE 1:
It's here! The voice... We have to get out of here! We have to run!

YUPPIE 2:
I only run at five in the morning with my dog, Percy.

YUPPIE 1:
Then this is goodbye, Taylor! May the spirit of all things good be with you!

She escapes offstage.

YUPPIE 2:
See you later, Jen! Ha, what a card.

A crowd of chorus members, all dressed as devilish revelers, enters and absorbs Yuppie 2 into their mass, while the beggar joins them. The sounds of the yuppie's shrieks are almost drowned out entirely by drums and hideous chants. The blood-splattered cult leader, Old Castro, comes forth from their midst and stands on top of a dumpster.

OLD CASTRO:
Now is the time! Now is the time for the fearsome Cthulhu to rise from his deathly sleep in the sunken city of R'Lyeh and teach us again how to revel in all that is unknown and unnamed! Cthulhu's time has come again!

CULT:
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

OLD CASTRO:
Let us pray for his return! Let us pray!

The whole cult begins to dance and chant in the strange, monstrous language. The lights dim, lightning flashes, thunder rolls, unholy mist creeps in from places where mankind never has nor ever will tread. In a explosion of light and sound, CTHULHU appears, mighty and horrible, dressed rather like a bohemian writer. He laughs his terrible laugh, deep and maddening as the secrets of the sea.

OLD CASTRO:
Holy shit, it worked! Run for it!

The whole cult runs screaming offstage. Cthulhu stops laughing and looks about sentimentally. Music swells...

SONG: A BOY NAMED CTHULHU

Another peal of thunder rings, the lights dim yet again, and out of the aether appears Yog-Sothoth, a tendrilous mass of the unknown, an entity beyond comprehension in a flashy three-piece suit and feathered fedora.

YOGI:
Cthulhu! Hey, buddy, ready to get your slaughter on? We're gonna have ourselves one hell of a time, if you'll pardon the expression. Hey, you ready to tangle with Lilith again? You know, I hear she's living down in Red Hook these days. Hot damn, that girl can get on top any old time she likes! UH!

CTHULHU:
Come on, Yog. It's only been a few thousand years. Give it a break.

YOGI:
Hey man, you know I'm just playing with you. You know I respect you. The cheating bitch can jump off a high bridge with that Dagon bastard for all I care. The important thing is, we're back, and it's gonna be a party, just like back in the old days, right? Right? What's the matter, Lu?

CTHULHU:
Yogi... I don't want to start the madness. Not right away.

YOGI:
Something eating at you, kid?

CTHULHU:
I just... It's what I'm supposed to do, I know. But I want something more.

YOGI:
More than domination of life, than the wrecking of havoc upon the entire universe? The conquest of the Old Ones on the plateau of Leng? More than that?

CTHULHU:
Yes! I... I want to be a writer!

YOGI:
Could you repeat that please? My hearing ain't adapted to the frequency of "dumb."

CTHULHU:
I want to be a writer. I want to write words that move people to feel. I want them to rise in their seats and say, "This is what life is. This is it." That's my dream, Yogi. That's it. I want to encapsulate the entirety of existence with the power of words.

YOGI:
And then enslave the Earth.

CTHULHU:
And then enslave the Earth.

YOGI:
Look, you've had a long sleep, you're not thinking straight. Let's get a snack and a pint, huh? I know a great spot nearby. Innsmouth. You'll like it, it's got great fish 'n chips, cheap drinks and chicks up to your tendrils. Come on, Lu. You know you want to. Don't make me beg, kid!

CTHULHU:
All right, all right, I'll go.

YOGI:
You just wait and see, Lu. This age is gonna be wild!

They exit.

Document
Cthulhu Musical, Act 1, Scene 1

Created: Mar 10, 2010

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