late night ramblings from a man on nyquil so take them as you will but i feel like i need to get this off my chest
Lately... well not lately.. you see i find that from time to time i feel this way, but for the sake of this lets call it lately... lately ive been feeling a disconnect from hitrecord the compnay. As far as the comunnity goes, i still feel very close, but the company not so much. It might be because there is just so much going on right now that sometimes when i look at the site it all just feels like noise. I feel like its hard to grasp what projects are going on. what to work on.. what to watch.. what to listen to.. there is just so much.. but i mean, if thats our problem then who cares.. it could be worse..we could have nothing coming in.
But as happy as i am that the site is growing and blossoming, i myself am feeling lost with in it.. feeling left by the wayside .. forgoten.. or dare i say.. unapreciated. not by the community in any stretch .. you guys rock and continue to inspire me and encourage me.. no all this that im feeling is comming from the company brass. Now i know what some of you are thinking and you are right, i am whining a bit.. ill be the first to admit that.. and also the first to hate the fact that i am doing it. But just like in any job that you have, every now and then you need a little encouragement from your boss.. a "good job".. a pat on the back... an "ata boy" .. you want to know that what you are doing is good pure and simple.
now i know that ive been caught saying many times that the work i do on here isnt for Joe or jarred or marke or anyone individuals approval and that i dont care weather or not im featured or what have you.. and this is still very much true.. but if i can be honest for a moment with you, it bothers me that the one record im truly proud of (right to left) ... which by the way got 109 hearts without getting featured.. something i am truly in awe of and humbled by.... that this record that you all seemed to love hasnt been hearted or commented or hell even seen by the bosses..
but i again.. i hear you out there saying "woe is me" at least you got the hearts.. and youre right.. i shouldnt be complaining.. at all... im am lucky.. but even with whatever notoriety i seem to have on this site.. i still feel left out.. lost.. forgotten ... i dont feel like any of the things we are doing are things i can do. all the collaborations that get started arent projects i seem to want to do.. and i get angry or sad that i can seem to find something to work on for the site... but then it hit me.. a line i had heard once that stuck with me.. a line from FIGHT CLUB .. "you decide your own level of involvement"
and this is true here more than anywhere.. this site will keep moving forward and if you dont keep up you will get left behind.. i know this.. and you know what im fine with this.. because i do love this site and the work we all do.. i know im not a remixer or a tiny story writer.. so why try to keep up with that.. i know what i do and if i say so myself i do it well..
so after all that all i can say is that im just going to keep making the records i love to make and maybe one day those records will align with what the brass is looking for on the site.. till then who cares.. cause the only people i want to make things for are you guys.. the community.. most of you i call friends. and if that pat on the back comes, it will just be icing on the cake.
thanks for putting up with this rant...
Created: Nov 05, 2011Document Media