The Mad Hatter's Journal

By ManWithHat

Dear Journal,


I have made a major breakthrough. I have realized that I am mad. No! Don't say anything, Journal. I know it, now, and what is known can never be unknown, just as what is wet can never be unwet. We are too good of friends to lie to one another. We must be as sincere as two snow leopards in spring. Allow me to continue.


Doubtful was I when first the label came to me in the guise of "The Mad Hatter," but I've come to accept it. How did such a revelation of epic proportions come to me? Purely and simply, as all epic things are. I was reading a book on major revolutionaries in the major arts and sciences and it occurred to me that all of them were labeled "mad" by their contemporaries. Indeed and forsooth, I am a revolutionary figure in my own life. My influence on the future of myself is never ceasing and completely immeasurable. Thus, as I am a revolutionary and am called "mad," I must be mad.


Like I said, it's all quite simple. I invited the March Hair to view the pickle blossoms, which were in full winter bloom yesterday, with every intention of explaining to him this phenomenon, but my plans were somewhat aluminum foiled. As soon as a pickle blossom came within a hare's breadth of our friend, he sneezed viciously at them, and would not stop!


What's that you say, Journal? Oh, well, certainly I told him it was rude. What kind of man do you think of me? You think me MAD don't you?! Well I'll tell you-


Oh, that's right, I am. It's taking some time to get used to.


Oh, Journal, what will the White Rabbit think of me when he finds out? He's always considered me such an upstanding gentlemen for refusing to believe that I'm mad. I shall certainly loose my high position in society due to my acknowledgment. At least you'll always be there for me, Journal.


Wait, Journal. Where are you going?


You're going off to follow Alice, aren't you? You foolish little book! She's going to use you. She doesn't feel the same about you that I do. She only cares about-


No! Journal! Come back! I love you! Well, not really, I mean, you're an inanimate object, and I-


Oh, come now, I didn't mean that! No, wait! You can't make me si-


Signed, Mad Hatter

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The Mad Hatter's Journal

Created: Feb 13, 2010

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