I love to eat; it became my obsession after my mother died.
Two blocks from our house, a drunken cop in new year´s eve decided to celebrate with his gun ´cause he was out off fireworks. A “lost bullet” kill my mother, the media and sheriff call it an unfortunate incident, my mother spent three days in coma, in those days I didn´t move an inch from her side, I swear, the doctor in charge of my mother´s case said that she will never wake up again, the bullet kill her brain and ask me if I was donating, ´cause he had to unplugged her, our insurance didn´t cover us for this or anything to be honest, but that’s something that I found out when the bill came home for me to pay for all the medical things that didn´t do a thing, I was even countable for the toilet paper nor my mother or I use. I had to sell the house and of course the father I never knew came to take his piece. My friends and there mothers were with me all the time, God bless them, I remember and this is one of the few things that I actually remember, I was so shocked by everything, Martha is the woman that took care of me on those days, she threatened him, my father, with God only knows what, but I never so him again. With the money of the house and some savings I was capable to convince a Judge to emancipate me, you see I was only seventeen and nine months. The Judge insisted that I should buy a small apartment and enter a school or institute and study anything, a social worker would visit me to see that everything that he “suggested” was being done. I did it all, and lost same weight as well, almost twenty pounds, but still, I´m a chubby girl. I´m telling you all this ´cause the day my mother died and my whole live change I woke up wanting to cook and I have never even boil an egg in my live, and that fact makes me consider that my mother not only raise me the best way her hard earn money could, but also she spoil me rotten. I must say I´m the product of malls, the food court was my living room since the first mall open in my town; my friends as well as I have always been the chubby ones. That’s why my house was the favorite place to be, four meal tickets and a few bucks just in case were my breakfast, lunch or dinner. My mother work all day long, so she never had time to cook, she was the supervisor of a storage room inside a department store, and therefore my meals were always pack and had to be reheated. Believe me, I was the happiest over weight child that ever existed in the face of the earth, I love french fries, spring rolls but my first love has to be Sundaes.
So today a few years later when everything seems to be healing well, I woke up wanting to cook, a terrible anxiety took over me. I got up from my tiny bed, I went to the bathroom and so how time had make me my into mother´s portrait, I tried to smile, to pretend it didn´t hurt. But quickly got in the shower and drown the knot of my throat in it.
During my day at work I couldn´t thing of anything else, so I decide that in my lunch time I would look at cooking books, and take this weird feeling as a good thing, perhaps it could be something good, but my heart was beating in another direction, I bought one book it was about healthy food and how to watch ones calories. After work I went to a grocery store, bought everything I needed and decided to take the subway back to my boring and small apartment, on my way so this beautiful flowers, jasmine flowers the vendor call them, so my heart was reassure with the smell of those flowers, of course I bought them. And went my way down the stairs to take the subway, as I was waiting for it, my phone rang I tried to answer but while on the quest for it, I drop the flowers, and this man pick them up and ask me what kind of flower were they, I foolishly said my favorite and smile, they are jasmine I quickly add, he smile back but not in an act of kindness, I swear he was flirting and with me no other, I tried to say something smart but realize that I´ve never been that kind of girl, we chubby girls don´t get that many chances to flirt, I guess he realize that too so as he was going to say something a cry for help came among the people, suddenly I was push out of the way and so the face of this man enter in panic as I fall.
A blinding light and a horrifying sound, a sharp pain and lots of screaming, that’s what I recall, that’s all I recall.
Now all I hear are whispers, I wonder when my mother will come to take me or if this is it. From time to time I can feel someone touches my hand, and jasmine, a sweet smell of jasmine takes over the room.
I have to say, I´m curious to know who will unplug me.
Created: Feb 07, 2010Document Media