with eyes closed,
i extend my arm
attempting to grasp something.
instead, i grab thin air.
thin, harsh, cold air.
where the sun's rays dare not touch.
why didn't i feel your hand in mine?
thoughts drown me.
i am forever sinking in the depths of my brain,
forever prisoner and hostage of my thoughts.
forever drowing in the possibilites of what could've been a you and me.
why couldn't reality hit me?
or why couldn't my fantasies combine with reality,
so i wouldn't have to just think anymore.
so i wouldn't have to sink in my imaginations
just to be considered your girlfriend?
being lonely makes you think
and freaking think
until you actually think you're living your thoughts.
then, once you snap out of it,
and your heart suddenly swells from gashes;
punctured by the possibilites
the piano keys ring in your ear
the dramatic cries of the violin
in a melodious somberness
reminding you of your lonliness.
love songs always happen to be there,
just to torment you
to constantly punch you in the face
"you're frigging lonely! get over it!"
is definitely the subliminal message.
imagination comes into play.
what if he comes out of no where,
pushes me up against the wall,
professing his love for me?
what if i ran into him,
and he passionately kisses me,
showing me that he truly cared?
what if miracuously
he shows up at my doorstep,
with a bouquet,
asking me to be his girl?
i can only pathetically laugh.
the hell am i thinking?
i slump back down into my bed,
pull the covers over my head.
stare blankly at the wall and the drawn curtains.
darnkess surrounds me,
and i can now cry myself to sleep.
hoping the tears will magically
make him see...
then i realize.
that wouldn't work.
i curl up into a ball
and cuddle with the sheets.
only wishing it was him.
only knowing i'm lonely.
only realizing i'm in love.
Created: Feb 04, 2010Document Media