Three Little Frogs and How They Quarreled

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I wrote this a couple of years ago and thought it would fit in nicely with the children's book collab.


Three Little Frogs and How They Quarreled

Once there were three little frogs that lived by the creek at the foot of a hill.  Their names were Fred, George, and Hazel.  All of them got along well with each other, until one day when Fred had been too lazy to do his washing and decided to put on Hazel's clean shirt.  He hopped around all day in it, playing in the mud, and swimming with his friend Ken who lived down the creek.  Fred tried to slip in the house quietly at the end of the day, but Hazel was waiting for him. 

"Exactly where do you think you're going, young man?" she asked, sternly. 

"My room." 

"Well, first you had better hand over my shirt, 200 pushups and money to buy a new one!" 

"Now hold it, Hazel.  Where do you get off telling me what to do?" 

"I think you gave me very good reason to when you took my shirt without asking!" 

"Now, Hazel," put in George.  "Don't you think you're being a bit unreasonable?  After all, you've never minded before when one of us borrowed your shirts." 

"Of course I don't mind, when you ask!  Besides, where do you get off telling me I'm unreasonable?" 

"You are unreasonable.  You think that everyone in this house should bow to your law.  Well, I'm the oldest, I'm in charge here." 

"If you think that for one minute that I'm going to bend my head to a pig-headed male, then you've got another thing coming!  Why are you sticking up for Fred?" 

"Someone has got to protect the kid from you!" 

"Hey, George," protested Fred.  "I can take care of myself.  I don't need you protecting me from something I can handle." 

"No, you can't.  You couldn't handle a pin stuck in your little webbed toes."

          "Now, you've done it.  I’m over 21 and just because you’re 56 doesn't mean that I have to do whatever you say." 

"For once the little brat is right," shouted Hazel.  "And you had better watch who you call web-toed, you wart covered, old, green, slimy, baboon." 

"Well, if you're going to start calling people names, Miss Hazel, things will get nasty." 

"Go ahead.  Make my day," Hazel dared. 

So back and forth they shouted all night, until the next morning, people began to wonder what was happening at the once peaceful home.  Soon they couldn't do anything but argue.  Ken wouldn't go over there for fear of catching ‘the arguing virus’ as he coined it; none of the neighbors dared visit for the same reason.  All of the animals in the formerly quiet neighborhood didn't try to stop their arguing for fear of contracting Argue-itis, or whatever else the three frogs had. 

One day about a month after they started fighting, an old friend came to visit the mole family.  They lived across the creek from the frogs and were sick of the sounds that floated across to them.  The old friend was Gregory the Wise Owl.  The moles told him of what happened to the frog family.  Gregory thought he should check it out so he flew over the creek and into the most furious rage of Hazel's that had come yet.  She was almost resorting to physical violence. 

"Friends," said Gregory.  "Please allow me to intrude." 

"Don't butt in, Buddy," said Hazel furiously.  Then she continued to shout insults at Fred and George. 

"Fine," Gregory shouted over their noise.  "But remember frogs are my favorite dish."  That stopped them.  For the first time in a month nothing rang in the neighbors’ ears when they stepped outside.  The three former friends just stood and stared in fear at the great owl.  Gregory smiled and started to reconcile the foolish frogs. 

"Friends, can any one of you recall how this grievous quarrel started?" 

"Well, no," said George sheepishly.  "But it wasn't my fault." 

"Oh, really?" said Hazel, and this would have started another quarrel if Gregory had not said. 

"Then you can forgive and forget right?" 

"No," said Fred, “I am not doing anything either of these two tell me to do."

"All right," Gregory said.  "If you three frogs don't quit arguing, I am going to eat all three of you!"  The three frogs immediately began nodding their heads in desperate agreement.  So from that day forth Fred, George, and Hazel lived in harmony for fear that the Owl would come back and swallow them whole.

Created: Mar 19, 2011


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