Shadow Theory AND SEX

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(thanks Lindsay for the effective titling method ^)


 


SHADOW THEORY



 


So, I've been thinking that since we've imagined another world and all, we need to create some order to it, determine how exactly things work, give 'em some institutions and all that jazz.  Here are my thoughts: you don't have to agree with them.


 


EDUCATION:


 


Shadows have a difficult job ahead of them - they have to imitate their earth-beings perfectly, they have to do it so precisely that no one would ever suspect they were anything more than a shape created by the Sun.  I know that I, for one, if ever asked to copy someone else's unpredictable movements exactly would probably fall flat on my face and/or die of a coronary.  Being able to copy something or someone isn't something shadows are born with naturally - it is a learned art, an area that they are trained in until they are qualified to serve in our world.


 


Now, the levels of mimicry vary - obviously it's much harder to serve as the shadow of a ballet dancer than it is to serve as the shadow of a tree in the wind or a shadow of a table.  Shadows are assigned objects based on their skill level, i.e. if I were a shadow I would be stuck with a broken washing machine in someone's unfinished basement where there is actually no light, but of course I'd still mess it up somehow-- anyway, this is one of the ways the education system works.


 


Of course, there are also castes, so when entering schooling, shadows are immediately separated accordingly.  Longrays may arguably get the best education of all, who knows!  But gloam(s) are definitely neglected in the education system, which probably explains how bad they are at sticking to plan in the middle of the night and why they scare the bejesus out of us at two in the morning by moving shadily across the room and giving us nightmares.


 


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LIFESPAN/CREATION:


 


Where do shadow creatures come from?  Probably not the pelican't!  I propose that shadows are what WE become after death, which is why there are such a limitless supply of them.  Of course, this is NOT necessarily the truth anyone has to go with, but I do quite enjoy blowing my own mind with thoughts and this? This is straight up mindfuckery!


 


So we're reborn as shadows, with our memories of the real world wiped out, and we go through the education system and serve as shadows for however many years, and then what?


 


Well, there are many directions we can go with this.  


 


A) Some shadows die and become earthly beings again (or in my case, a lamp post, because my luck is REALLY THAT BAD).  Or maybe if they perform badly, they cease to exist/go to "hell" whatever that is (or maybe this IS hell, what the--).


 


B) Shadows never die, once you become a shadow you stay a shadow until the Sun eats up the galaxy (what about the universe?) and SPOILER ALERT: there is potentially another Big Bang and history just repeats all over again?


 


C) ???? I don't have the attention span for this, so please create your own theories and share them with me!


 


But okay, woah, back to the whole we-become-shadows "I'm not following you I'm leading you to another world" thing?  That doesn't have to be true at all either (even if it would be COOL), and I really want to get some other thoughts on the issue.  (INSERT AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION HERE.)


 


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EARTH-BEING AWARENESS


 


I'm legitimately convinced that dogs and other animals TOTALLY KNOW.  Your dog Rufus isn't mentally incapacitated, god damn it!  He's EXTREMELY PERCEPTIVE which is why he often walks into walls and chases his own shadow!  I suggest you get the poor thing some extra treats, stat!


 


 


 


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Okay, that's enough (for now?) but I do want to hear other people's thoughts on this world!  Let's develop it more.  Where exactly is Umbra, and what's it like?  Is there anything more to being an indoor shadow vs an outside shadow, besides the levels of skill/difficulty?  Etc, etc.


 


Thanks for reading this- I hope I made it mildly interesting.  At the very least, I'm just pleased that I can now explain the dark scary shapes I used to see as a kid at night that led me to run to my parents crying.  IT WASN'T MY IMAGINATION, MOTHER >: (


 

Created: Feb 02, 2011

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