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He was four years older than me. Still, I was in 9th semester of university, and he was in 1st. His past was brutal, and he was aiming for a new beginning. But he found me. We started flirting, and by the end of the month, we were already dating. Even when it was fast, it felt perfect. I finished my studies ad graduated, but he was still studying. I worked so hard so we could get married, and he lived for me. He would cook for me and waited to have lunch with me. I used to go out of work and meet him at his place, he would prepare the table and serve lunch, then he offered his bed so I could rest, and would wake me up so I went  back to work in the evening.

One day I woke up and stared at the ceiling. It had been two years since he proposed, two years that I had been working, saving, looking... same two years where he dropped off school, went back to live with his parents, made no effort on getting a job, and sincerely had no intention to change that. I froze at the idea that he was not only not doing anything to marry me, but also that he was sinking on a hole where I became his everything. He had no life beyond me. No studies, no job, no nothing. And it hit me. I was blocking him. He was so comfortable with me that he gave up his life to serve mine. I couldn't have lived with myself if I didn't do anything. So I let him go. I explained this to him, but he didn't listen. He was shocked that I left him, and he didn't understand it until a year after. Leaving him was one of the hardest things I have ever done, since it was not because I didn't love him. It was precisely that I loved him so much that I was willing to sacrifice our future together for his wellbeing. And I did. 

Created: Jun 30, 2017


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