Goodbye

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I told you I was fine with it when you said you needed to move on. I lied. I couldn't bring myself to let you know how much it hurt when realized you simply were not ready to be with anyone. It was you, not me. That has got to be the stupidest line ever used in the history of break ups.

I know you are going to be far away by time you get this, but I needed you to know it did hurt me. I was in love. I don't know what you were doing with me. Was any of it real? Did you ever care?

I guess my first clue should have been when my dad died. I needed... hoped to find some comfort and understanding, but instead you were cold. I'd known you grew up without a father, but I did not expect you to ask me what the 'big deal was' about my own father's death. You'd grown up without one, so what was the big deal?

I hated myself for not telling you then how that made me feel. I apologized to you. The worst day of my life and I apologized to you. I cannot continue to live with myself knowing I let you walk all over me that way, and then walk away from me the way you did.

You made me fall in love with you. You came after me, pursued and wooed me. Then you got bored with me and pushed me away. I was not the first. I probably won't be the last. It will catch up to you. Some day some one will do it to you. You will know how I feel.

I promise it will be worse for you because you will not understand why or how it could happen to you, and because it will be the first time you ever actually fell in love yourself. I don't wish it on you. I just see it coming.

I needed to let you know you hurt me. I needed to warn you, your pain is coming.

Created: Jun 28, 2017

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