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i looked up expecting to see sky but instead i saw sand and the white foam riding in on the tide.

i looked down expecting to see sand but instead i saw the clean blue sky and five or six clouds.

i felt nauseous.

i felt tired.

i could hear seagull cries over the swoosh of the ocean.

i was upside-down clutching a rock.

the rock was sun-warm.

i had become a bearded dragon.

i could feel my blood getting warmer.

it felt like warm custard flowing through my body.

i pushed out my stomach so it was grazing the rough warm rock.

i flared my beard.

i wanted to bask on this rock for a long time.

it felt great.

and the fresh salty breeze was lovely.


two months later a beautiful woman appeared on the sand.

she approached my rock.

picked me up and tickled my soft scaly stomach.

then she hurled me way out into the sea.

i went under.

i was caught in a rip.

i sucked water into my nostrils.

the salt stung my bulbous eyes.

i was panicking.

i was not an amphibian, never had been.

i was blinking more than ever.

but something inside my head told me to calm down.

to breathe.

actually, it wasn't in my head.

well, it was and it wasn't.

it was a manatee speaking to me telepathically.

it swam around me in a circle.

it imparted an ancient wisdom to me.

and i found that i could breathe under water now.

so i swam deeper, where the water was black and colder than loneliness.

i swam towards a glow-in-the-dark anemone that was stuck to a slimy rock shelf.

it was singing quietly.

i tried to understand the words.

i couldn't though.

so i kicked the anemone.

it became dislodged from its rock and slowly sank to the centre of the blackness.

i swam over and took its place on the rock.

it was freezing cold, that rock.

my blood was cooling down.

i felt uninspired.

i was getting weak.

i closed my eyes and dreamed of warm custard being poured into a blow-hole in my back.


three years later a beautiful merman appeared.

he was holding a clam.

he prised it open and offered it to me.

there was a pearl sitting on some pink fluffy cushions.

i reached for it.

the merman snapped the clam shut.

which chopped off my front-left leg, fml.

the merman said something in a language i couldn't understand and swam away holding the clam.

i expected to see inky red blood puffing out into the water.

but instead i saw that a glow-in-the-dark anemone had immediately grown in place of my missing leg.

i felt exhausted.

Created: Jun 09, 2017

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