1. "I just need time. . . to find a new girlfriend."
2. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm breaking up with you."
3. "Pass the potato salad please. Oh yeah, hey. There was something that I wanted to tell you yesterday but I forgot. What was it? (pause) Oh yeah, I'm breaking up with you. (pause) Are you going to eat that?
4. "I can see my future and sadly you're not in it."
5. "I'm breaking up with you, because our relationship is as bad as The Room and The Last Airbender combined."
6. "I can no longer tolerate your cold feet."
7. "What are you still doing here? Crap, that's right. You're going to want to sit down for this. You know what, maybe we should go to a crowded restaurant to discuss this first."
8. "I'm leaving you for Jill. She has an amazing coin collection. You should come over and see it sometime."
9. "The sex is good, but it could always be better. Like Fifty Shades of Grey better."
10. "You were hot, but now you're cold."
11. "Our relationship is crashing down like the economy."
12. "Hmm, how do I describe our current situation? I think I'll need a toilet to demonstrate."
13. "On Facebook, I'm changing my relationship status to single."
14. "I'm breaking up with you to marry someone else. Our wedding is next weekend. Would you like to come along? I sent you an invitation."
15. "Happy Valentine's Day. I got you an eraser. It's symbolic, because I want to erase any memory of you."
Created: Jun 08, 2017joshua-malisos Document Media