Bittersweet

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Welcome to page 47 of your Broken Hearts Cookbook. 

For this recipe you will need the basic ingredients:

2 cups all purpose flour

2 medium eggs

1 teaspoon of oil

1 cup of water

1 whole bag of bittersweet chocolate chips


You will notice there is no sugar needed. Make no mistake these cookies will be terrible. It will be hard to enjoy these cookies. You may just throw up. But that is how you can make it through this hard time. You need to purge yourself. Let's begin!


First take the flour, eggs, oil and water and mix together in large bowl. If your lover took all your bowls and stirring utensils you may find an old pot and a long spoon if possible. Please no tears in the mixture. 


Next, when you have mixed everything and it looks somewhat like batter, pour in the entire bag of bittersweet chocolate chips. If you pop some into your mouth remember the sweet taste will fade. All things fade. Please no depressing thoughts as you mix in the chocolate, you're depressed enough already. Try to have fun mashing all these things together. 


Lastly take the batter and make small lumps about an inch in size and place onto a baking sheet. Does it need to be greased? Who gives a #$@$%! Now assuming you still have an oven place the baking sheet inside at 350 degrees and wait for twenty minutes. No oven? Then here's the shortcut, take one lump of the batter and swallow whole. Imagine your swelling your heart back into your body. Yes you still have one. That bitch might not but you do. 


After twenty minutes, remove the cookies from the oven. Please don't linger inside the oven, it's not worth it! Scrape those cookies off the baking sheet. How do they look? Good? Appalling? Doesn't matter, why? You will take one cookie and savor it whether it's good or bad. We all have to take our bad lumps. Now final instruction, take the rest of the cookies or uncooked batter, drive to your ex's home and chuck them at his or her window. Now weren't those the best cookies ever?!

Created: Jun 02, 2017

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