1. Explore a black hole (cloaked in some sort of anti-spaghettification device, of course).
2. Develop my own theme music and teach a shoulder parrot to sing it for me at appropriate moments (to highlight key events in my life so that I don't accidentally miss their significance, and to help me avoid impending murder and other forms of unpleasantness by providing ominous musical foreshadowing).
3. Become some sort of cyborg or develop a superpower for greater durability, supervillain fighting prospects, and sports performance.
4. Replace all existing global weaponry with squirt guns, water balloons, silly string, and Nerf foam projectiles.
5. Hit Donald Trump in the face with a giant banana cream pie, or maybe a piano, (depending on my mood, how smug he looks on that particular day, and whether I've been sufficiently cyborged or superpowered to throw giant musical instruments).
If I have any time left over once I've checked these items off the list, I wouldn't mind learning how to play the bagpipes.
Created: May 31, 2017ThatGirlfromMars Document Media