My Bucket List: Top 5

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1. Explore a black hole (cloaked in some sort of anti-spaghettification device, of course).

2. Develop my own theme music and teach a shoulder parrot to sing it for me at appropriate moments (to highlight key events in my life so that I don't accidentally miss their significance, and to help me avoid impending murder and other forms of unpleasantness by providing ominous musical foreshadowing).

3. Become some sort of cyborg or develop a superpower for greater durability, supervillain fighting prospects, and sports performance.

4. Replace all existing global weaponry with squirt guns, water balloons, silly string, and Nerf foam projectiles. 

5. Hit Donald Trump in the face with a giant banana cream pie, or maybe a piano, (depending on my  mood, how smug he looks on that particular day, and whether I've been sufficiently cyborged or superpowered to throw giant musical instruments). 

If I have any time left over once I've checked these items off the list, I wouldn't mind learning how to play the bagpipes. 

Created: May 31, 2017

Tags: bucket list, somewhat feasible, people i would like to hit in the face with pies and pianos, shoot for the stars, science fiction promised me all sorts of stuff, black hole life goals, frustrating lack of theme music, human limitations are so limiting, epic squirt gun and silly string battle, fictional trump cull, i should be in charge of the world, dafuq did i just read, murder avoidance through musical foreshadowing, i need a parrot, these are the sorts of things that pop into my head when someone asks me what i want to do with my life

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