I have always written about pain, hurt, deceit, loss, regret.
Although these emotions are parallel to those that make you feel happy, content, love, laughter, peace and calm, they are still the main focus of most of my writings.
Today I want to appreciate the lessons I have learnt from experiencing such dark emotions to the intensity I have. Today is different!
I will start by thanking those who broke my trust.
You all have helped me realize that trust cannot and should not be given to just anyone who walks in to your life. It doesn’t matter how long you know someone, it doesn’t matter the relationship you hold with someone. The truth is trust is earned. I have learnt that the hard way. The only one you can truly trust is yourself. Trust yourself in knowing how to be around others, trust the choices and decisions you make. Trust that you know what makes you who you are and stick to it despite what others say.
Next I want to thank those who didn’t have the guts to love me with all their entirety. Those who didn’t have the balls to fight for me, and for the love we had. It is hard to feel unloved and feel vulnerable in the arms of those who you feel will never stop fighting for you, to be with you. But it has taught me to love myself. It has taught me to fight the hardest for myself. To choose ME! It has taught me to save the love I so freely and wholeheartedly gave to others, and invest it in myself. It was needed, to feel loved in the eyes of myself. I decide if I am lovable, I decide how I love myself and I decide if I am enough to be loved!
I would also want to thank those who have hurt me and have given me such excruciating pain. Whom have left me shattered and in pieces without ever looking back to see if I was okay. It has taught me to be my own strength, to stand up when I fall, to smile and move on. If you wouldn’t have left me in that situation, I would have forever been dependent on you and I would have never been able to discover the strength within me to fight back and live.
For once, I am emotionally and mentally dependent on no one but myself, I am happy with who I am, I can grow to my full capacity and for the very first time, I love myself. For the first time, I will never settle for less because my past had left such disappointments in my eyes for myself.
So thank you!
For every regret and painful memory I have had, I thank you. It has been turned in to a blessing to better myself, for no one but myself.
So thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you so very much!
Created: May 29, 2017jihansc Document Media