1. Looks like my dad found you drunk on the lawn again! He told me it was time to take out the trash. You've got to go.
2.Me:Sit down and hit this. Good now you're not gonna like what I have to say there is bad news and worse news. The bad is I'm breaking up with you.
Him: What's the worse then?
Me: That's the last bowl!!!(Breaks Down Crying)
3 Ok so summer is coming and you know what they say... Nuts for the Winter, Single in the Summer. Time for you to go Nuts, but don't go, you know, too nuts.
4. You have perfected selfishness like an art form so go Fuck yourself.
5.Sometimes I look at you and think did someone bring you hear via time travel from the stone age? And I really wish they'd take you back. Just go back.
6. If you can't make me Scream we can't be a team.
7. You really got a Mullet? The Dumb Asshole of Haircuts? I can't.
8. Dumb is not a life choice I'm willing to make.
9. Blubbering after sex is soooo unattractive. Are you gonna get that under control, no? Alright we're done here.
10. They should call you lightening, you're done in an instant, with a bunch of flash, and by the time it's over I'm glad you never strike twice.
Created: May 24, 2017ReeferClippings Document Media