Agatha

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There once was a girl who hated her boss. She also hated work but that was something she could do little about since she needed to eat - and pay for what she ate. The boss, however, she thought she could deal with. 


She considered the usual stuff, like guns and knives, and unexpected road accidents, but everything seemed so messy and though she really did not like the guy she shuddered at the thought of having herself, or any of her belongings, drenched in blood. Once she bought a rope but somehow the boss never placed himself in a position where she could wind it around his neck and pull. She was not good at tying knots anyhow.


Then one day she heard of a woman who lived a long time ago. The woman had been a gardener, and a pharmacist, and written many manuals on how combining the two professions could help people nobody liked into the afterlife. The girl went into the local library to get hold of the manuals, and started reading.


She learned about plants that could make your heart stop, and different specimen that got the blood into a boil. Others took your breath away or send nice pictures into your head before you fell face down onto your dinner plate. Most of the plants were freely available and she decided to take a closer look in the neighbouring gardens and at the roadside.


One of her research trips took her past the beach and when she briefly lifted her head from surveying the ground she could make out a distant figure, all white and airy, on a bench. She wondered how a spirit could loose itself there so far away from where ghosts are supposed to be and went closer to find out.


"You know they all get caught in the end?" she suddenly heard the spirit say once she had approached the spot.


"Nope," the girl answered, "not me for I am clever."


"You soon will find that however clever you are there always will be someone somewhere far cleverer than you. Believe me, I know these things."


"Who are you?" asked the girl.


"I'm Agatha and you called me by reading my books. It's been a long time somebody has made a movie or television series from my stuff and your extensive reading evoked my spirit."


"And right now it's pissing on my parade for I am determined to get rid of my boss," said the girl sullenly before she sat down next to the spirit on the bench. They silently watched the waves roll in.


"You can find a new job," Agatha suggested.


"No," said the girl, "it's not that easy in my profession, and I have family who depends on me."


"Then find a new profession, get a different job. Get two different jobs," said Agatha, "go talk to your friends but not about how to kill your boss. Talk about how to live your life. Read books, get inspired, go away for a bit and think. I did that once."


"Yeah, I heard that," said the girl, "and the police came to get you, and the journalists and all."


"Yes, but shortly after my life was good again. I divorced and met a new guy with an interesting job, married and lived in interesting places."


"He also slept with your secretary."


"By then I was too old to care and my life had just been too good to be disturbed by petty nuisances. Besides, she was a good secretary."


They watched more waves coming in and it was getting late.


"Listen," said the spirit called Agatha, "the point is to make a change, and to make it the right way. You're smart, you can do it. Now stop looking at the plants. You need quite a lot of them to kill a grown person anyhow; and they taste bitter. Go home and think."


The girl rose but Agatha was not quite finished.


"And if you are really really bored you can always adapt one of my books into a screenplay, you know. The stories truly need updating and I haven't seen a fresh approach in decades."


The girl went home without killing her boss. She thought hard, and then she started writing. Nobody knows where Agatha went after that but she might be coming to a place near you soon.

Created: May 23, 2017

Tags: agatha christie, spirit on a bench, deathly remix challenge 2, poison, fiction

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