The Bitch Who Stole Valentine’s (from my wife)

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She’s usually seen flying solo on this particular day but she doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about the hullabaloo. I mean, the whole town is plastered in frills and laces but she seemed to have evolved past this insanity.

She struts down the avenue wearing her killer heels and an intriguing smile. I say intriguing because her lips are laced with the most delicious secret every man wants to discover. How do I know? I’m one of those clowns drooling over her while out on Valentine’s date with the missus. I might even be subconsciously planning this date months in advanced every year in the hopes of running into this siren.

She’s ethereal. She’s nameless. She’s free.

I don’t wanna sound like a jerk and I’m not anti-Valentine’s either. I mean, I’m a very romantic person. I love my wife and I want her to be happy but I seriously think that this day is designed for the ladies. As men, we are expected to be overflowing with cash to splurge girly stuff for the ol’ ball and chain. But I get strapped for cash too! I don’t wanna be dubbed as some kind of an asshole for not being able to take her wife out on Valentine’s just because he had other things to do! If you don’t wanna be sleeping on the couch that night, you gotta prepare for the coming of this day and spend! Jewelry, fancy dinner, roses, the works!

Hey, I don’t hate the whole thing. Well for one, I see how excited my wife gets when hearts day is coming and I believe that I have something to do with that. Plus at the end of the day, I get some good loving from her! So, it’s a win-win.

But that girl. Ah, that girl. She’s a riddle that I long to solve. Why is she always alone? With her striking beauty and a foxy body, she should be juggling men left and right! Not to mention that she’s not like the rest of the women who are going gaga over Valentine’s. If she is single, then she doesn’t seem to feel bad about it. I never once saw her out on a V-day date and I am seduced by the freedom she emanates -no worries; not a dime to spend on someone just to get some.

Bottom line is, I wanna be free like her!

I wanna be free from this craziness - the psycho that is Valentine’s day. I yearn to be free from the mob of women all wanting to get something from their husbands, boyfriends, partners! I wanna disentangle myself from the frills and the cut-out hearts and laces dangling all over the country! I wanna get rid of all the media feeding us ideas on how to celebrate this day! Just get me out of this twilight zone!

But, then again, the only freedom I will be getting from all the madness is the promise of sweet release when the love making comes.

Going back to reality, it’s all just a crush - someone that I look forward to seeing year after year. There’s no harm in a little crush, right? After all, she remains anonymous the entire time. She will be forgotten in a month. Just like last year and the year before that and the year before that.

Except that, she will be haunting my post-Valentine’s date! The good loving that I get from the missus when we get home becomes different. My mystery girl’s face is what I see when my wife hungrily takes me. I hate to admit it but this happens every Valentine’s day. Sometimes I despise myself for this but, what the heck! What’s one day?

Nobody has to know.

No one needs to know.

My wife doesn’t have to find out. Besides, I don’t want my mystery girl to be known as the bitch who stole Valentine’s day.

Created: May 18, 2017

Tags: tinymemoir #valentines #itsjustacrush #remix mysterygirl

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