I tried to lean near the window for the fresher air but so many little bits of debris and bugs, pollen, and I don't know what, were floating in the thick air. I felt like I’d have to eat it to get the oxygen out of it.
I wanted out.
I imagined myself escaping out the van window and swimming up through the dense air all the way to space. That would be nice. When I got way up there I could look down on the earth like the satellite I was.
I would watch the earthlings in their daily dramas loving each other, hurting each other, growing old.
In isolation I could watch and learn the answers to all the ‘WHY's’ in life.
Then one day, when I grew warm with understanding, I could finally open my heart to my own kind.
There would be two suns in the sky that day and all living things would call me back home.
I would streak towards the earth afire, eager to join in, coming closer and closer, my approach revealing a tighter and tighter perspective. Too late I would realize that it's not for us mortals to be so aware, that I would never be able to share with any of them the things I’d learned.
I would lose my godlike knowledge as I felt my shrinking boundaries and zoomed in on the tiny things that just affected me.
Humanity’s flaws would dance wildly in the light of my fire. I would want to turn back, look away, fear would extinguish my new flame and I’d just fall to the earth like a lump.
My light would be an ember trapped inside me. I’d lay there cold again, alone again, a dark stone dug into the damp earth waiting for something or someone to find me and reignite my flame.
Then I’d combust; blow everything away with me.
Created: Jan 26, 2011bearfeetz Document Media