The Inconvenience Store

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Welcome to the Inconvenience Store.

We are open every Monday from 2 until 4.

Please call us to inquire on your specific needs.

We will try our best not to provide any leads.

Our number is private, so good luck looking.

Don’t ever expect to begin your cooking.


Our parking lot really is quite a mess.

Every space blocks another, we guarantee your stress.

If you manage to make it to our front door.

Please remember we are always rotating our floors.

Our isles are random and lights are kept low.

There really is no specific flow.


Our veggies are mouldy and our fruits come with worms.

All our products are just loaded with germs.

The soaps we sell are all oil based.

Good luck getting that shit off your face.

Our towels are wet with mold growing thick.

Our vitamins guarantee you will become sick.


Our meats are rotten to the bone.

Best to just keep poison control on the phone.

Our milk is sour and emits quite the smell.

Our cheese is green and fuzzy as hell.

The cans and boxes of food we stock.

Are expired, dried out and dusty as chalk.


Our brooms have no bristles and our dustpans have holes.

Better get use to living like trolls.

The batteries we sell hold no charge.

So one needn’t worry that they will discharge.

Our light bulbs are cracked and our mirrors are all smashed.

They really should just be put in the trash.


If you have managed to find something to eat.

Congratulations now please take a seat.

Our lines are long and cashiers moody.

No need to report them for they are all named Judy.

We don’t take cash, debit or credit what a pain in the neck.

Payment can only be rendered by cheque.  

Created: May 15, 2017

Tags: fiction, funny poem, inconvenience store, inconvenience

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