Narcoleptic Clown Show for Tiresome Tirades

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INT: a narcoleptic clown couple are entertaining an audience either LIVE or on TV, but keep falling asleep. The audience thinks it is part of the show.

Man Clown: (in mock surprise) Oh dear me Millie, I do believe I might just falls asleep standing on my feet, I’m so exhausted. (the Clown man nods off, while standing)

Woman Clown: (honks a bike horn in his ear then hides it behind her back and winks at the audience)

Man Clown: (startled awake and flails arms and legs and looks around startled) Who’s there!? Who did that?!

Woman Clown: (shrugs innocently)

Man Clown: Mille dear it has been such a long day (yawns and his legs buckles and he collapses, asleep and snoring on the floor.)

Woman clown: (Shakes her head and sighs. She grabs a glass of water and tosses it on him.)

Man clown: (jumps up, startled and looking around) What happened, who did that?! Why am I wet?

Woman clown: (shrugs innocently)

Man clown: (looking around) Someone’s playing tricks on me Millie, or I am losing my mind.

Woman clown: (rubs him gently on the back to comfort him)

Man Clown: Starts getting drowsy and collapses again.

Woman clown: (pulls out a toy gun and yells in his ear) Bang, Bang. Bang Bang Bang!

The woman clown then collapses asleep in the mans lap.

Man Clown: (wakes up, distraught to find Millie lying in his lap with a gun)

Man Clown: (sobbing and holding her head in his lap) Millie, oh Millie! My dear sweet Millie! What has happened!?

Woman Clown: (pops her head up and gives a big exaggerated smile to the audience.)

Man Clown: (Falls back again)

Woman Clown: (shakes her head again and sighs, then drags him out of the picture or off stage…)

Edit:  I almost feel like this could have no speaking lines.  Just sounds and actions like a silent film.  Maybe Charlie Chaplin style.  

Created: May 06, 2017


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