Speaker of the House, a parody of Master of the House (Les Miserables)

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(Narrator)

There is a job- carries no pomp-

It is to head a part of a swamp.

Currently it's held by a man

Who never thought it part of his plan.

When he got the calls

He refused them all

The pleas for him to lead-


(House Republicans)

Won't you be, please, Paul,


Speaker of the House! Jump into the fray

Can't you see the G.O.P.'s in disarray?

Boehner wasn't stout. And McCarthy's out

You're the only one of us who's got some clout.


Everybody will support you

Everybody thinks you're great

We are all behind you-

Mind you don't do anything we hate!


Speaker of the House. Herder of the cats.

Moderator to our idiotic spats.

Find the common ground- that'd be the prize

Only problem's no one wants to compromise.

Now you hold the honored gavel,

In the Speaker's chair you sit.

And you are who we bow to

Now you get to deal with all our shit.


Speaker of the House- you will take the role

We're divided but we want to be a whole

Party of the rich, party of the fine,

Party that is all for keeping all that's mine.

Help us get it back together

There is just a little hump:

With power we endow you

How you gonna handle Mr. Trump?


(Paul Ryan)

What Trump has said with no remorse

I can't defend nor can I endorse.

What's that? He's won? Oh suddenly

I can ignore his demagoguery.


What I said was bull,

Now I swallow full.

I get the whole basket

Of deplorables.


(People of the U.S.A.)

Speaker of the House. Happy to accept

Votes from racist voters whom you then reject.

Wanting it both ways- gonna lose that fight.

The Nazis are resurgent in the new alt-right.


See how they all heil The Donald

There's a link you can't deny

Trying to play dumb is just

Another version of a lie.


You can't only pray

They will go away

There's a spate of hate crime in the U.S.A.

Covering your eyes

Plugging up your ears

To the powder keg so packed with people's fears.


What became of truth and duty

Speaking to the just and fair

Why not take a stand, you don't take crap they hand you

Can't you grow a reasonable pair?


Speaker of the House, no one's on your side

Whatever you do you will be vilified.

When you can not win, means you can not lose

Might as well do good with doings that you choose.

Speak against the Chief of Bullies

For men, women, girls and boys

Wish we could command you-

Damn you Speaker, use your Speaking Voice!


(Mitch McConnell)

Hey Paul, come here, it's Senate Leader Mitch.

Ignore the people, just be our little bitch.


Speaker of the House, build the wall up high

So that we don't even see the other side.

Kill Planned Parenthood, gut the ACA

They help nobody who matters anyway.


Focus on our own agenda

Not the rabble that's been roused.

For those who are weaker it's never been bleaker in the House!


(People of the U.S.A.)

Speaker of the House


(McConnell and House Republicans)

Equity is moot!


(People of the U.S.A.)

Stick up for your principles


(McConnell and House Republicans)

Only when it suits!


(People of the U.S.A.)

Trump has put you down

With sadistic glee.


(McConnell and House Republicans)

What, you think you have a

Shred of dignity?


(People of the U.S.A.)

Guess you're done with all the standards

That we heard you would espouse.

Go and get onto the floor!


(McConnell and House Republicans)

Lyin' on it like a whore!


(All)

Go and get onto the floor

You're the Speaker of the House!


(Over the last note of the song, Trump says, 'Sad!')

Created: May 02, 2017

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