First Impressions © Virtual Speed Dating

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INT. BEDROOM - EARLY EVENING


JESS sits down in front of her computer with a glass of rosé in hand. She clicks on the speed dating website to join the event. A video begins playing with VIDEO HOST introducing.


VIDEO HOST

Welcome to First Impressions Virtual Speed Dating. Your event will begin shortly.


JESS

Alright. Here we go.

JESS tidies her hair, gets herself settled.


VIDEO HOST

Most first impressions occur within the first 10 seconds of meeting someone. So, you will have an initial 10 seconds with each participant before you are moved to the next available partner. If you both heart each other within those 10 seconds, your time will be extended by one minute before you are switched partners. From all of us here at First Impressions, have fun and we wish you all the best.


Jess sips her wine as the video continues playing. She does something that doesn't matter in Video Dating like uses a breath freshener or smells under her armpits or something.


VIDEO HOST (cont.)

The event starts in 5,4,3,2,1.


The video shows a man with a heavily tattooed face.


TATTOO MAN
Hello!


JESS
Hi!

We see the counter tick down in the corner of her screen 3,2..


JESS (Cont'd)

Sorry!

The video changes to show a reasonably attractive man - STEVE. He has slicked back hair with a lot of hair product.


JESS

Hi, how are you?!

STEVE

Hey, yeah, I'm pretty great. I don't like your hair. You should change it.

JESS looks annoyed. A heart appears on the screen. The second counter in the corner of her screen shows 3,2.. JESS hearts back.


JESS

I don't give a shit what you think about my hair! I just had it cut today and I like it. Have you seen YOUR hair? You could cook french fries in that! I'd probably have to get insurance to go on date with you in case your hair spontaneously combusts!

STEVE tuts and looks unphased.


STEVE

OK, you're a bit below my usual standard but you know what - I'm gonna give you a go.

JESS

Give me a go? What am I? A fairground ride? Your chances of getting with me are zero!

JESS sees the counter in the corner of her screen counting down 27, 26.. she sighs heavily as she realises she still has half a minute with this idiot.


STEVE

So why did you heart back then?

JESS and STEVE stare at each other in awkward silence .


JESS

Cos I needed to tell you what a waste of space you are, you frickin' oxygen thief.

STEVE

You like me a bit, don't you? Do you wanna see my--

JESS

--NO!!
(BEAT)

JESS (CONT'D)

I think I'll make this noise for the next 12 seconds.

JESS makes an annoying noise. After a moment, she's bored of it herself so she lowers her laptop screen a bit and looks at her watch. She lifts it back up as we see the countdown 2, 1.. JESS gives the middle finger.


JESS (CONT'D)

BYE!!


The video changes to a scruffy looking man, JAMES

JAMES

Hi, I'm James, I work in IT. What do you do?

JESS

Hey, I'm Jess, I'm a music producer.

JAMES

I hate over-produced music! You don't do that, do you?

JESS

No, I produce it just the right amount.

JAMES

Cooool..

JESS

Bye.


The video changes to TAD seated in a

candle-lit room. He is wearing a turtleneck and holding a

large glass of red wine. He speaks smoothly and very fast.


TAD

Hello, Beautiful. I'm Tad; I'm a dentist, I drive a BMW and I hope you love sunsets.


A large heart appears on Jess' screen informing her that Tad is interested. 


Her eyes widen in fear. We see a glimpse of TAD's leg - he's not wearing trousers. The video changes to a frat house and the frat boys cheer with drinks in hand. FRAT BOY raises his glass of beer.


FRAT BOY

Okay boys! Another brunette! Take a sip!


As the Frat Boys drink, Jess looks disappointed.


JESS

They turned this into a drinking game?

FRAT BOY 2: (shouting) Show us yer ...

The video cuts to the next speed dater.


The next video is a man in a costume speaking a foreign language, followed by video of a smiling, elderly couple dressed as mimes. The video finally changes to DWIGHT, a well-dressed, attractive man who is slightly smiling. Jess smiles hopefully.


DWIGHT

Hi.


JESS

Hi.


As Jess sees a heart appear on her screen, she presses a heart and a 1-minute countdown clock starts.


DWIGHT

I'm Dwight.


JESS

Nice to meet you Dwight. I'm Jess. Um, so, we have don't have a lot of time right now, but tell me something about yourself. Something random, I don't know. Your favorite... ?


DWIGHT

Well, my favorite flavor is sour mint, like when you drink orange juice after brushing your teeth.


Jess laughs, but Dwight still has a slight smile. A dog walks through Jess' room.


JESS

Um, okay, well my favorite flavor is-


Dwight screams as he points at the screen.


DWIGHT

What is that?!


JESS

Oh! Phillip? Sorry, you probably can't see him that well. That's my boy. It's just a dog.


DWIGHT

A what?!


JESS

A dog?


DWIGHT

What's your lucky number?


JESS

I don't know. 11? Why? What's yours?


DWIGHT

4.83.


JESS

That's oddly specific.


DWIGHT

Do you have any pets?


JESS

Are you serious?


A doorbell rings in Dwight's house.


DWIGHT

Dammit. The funeral director's here. I thought I could get this in quickly before my mother's funeral - sorry. I'll be free later though - you wanna call me?.


JESS

Huh?


VIDEO HOST: That concludes your complimentary session. To continue dating, please click the subscription link at the bottom of the screen.

JESS closes her laptop shut.


BLACK

Created: Apr 27, 2017

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