Decisions

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Everyday I wake up thinking that something today will make me feel good about tomorrow. But there will always be a regret, I may start the day in a positive or even a negative view but there will always come a chance where I choose to take an action that will soon daunt me with more and more questions. Anxiety sets in fast everyday, I don't know its origin or its meaning but it kills a part of me inside every time.


My biggest regret is thinking about everything that happens to me, how I cant take an action and not worry about it. I foresee consequences, some may never materialize but the instilled thought will slowly grow as a cancer and sucks the joy from my life.


I may smile, I may joke and I may bully others and be sarcastic all while still feeling the pain inside grow further and further from a point of no return and thus the day ends.

I have nothing else to go to than the comfort of my bed and the comfort of my mother's voice. The only silver lining to my dark clouds. I know how reality works and I know all of it is fake, but the inability to make the most of the wonderful gifts that are there just before my eyes at a reachable distance but those decisions I made and regrets that's built up makes me push it all aside and squander in to self loathing.


My biggest regret is to make a decision on a matter which haunts my life.


Created: Apr 26, 2017

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