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WTF is beingpaloma? (Community Interview)

By beingpaloma

I figure I've avoided this long enough, that no-one will be interested by now! I'm a simple woman, so you've been warned...

Who are you and what do you do?

I'm Paloma and I do what I can ;-)

This is the hardest question for me to answer because I don't know who I am any more! The last few years of sickness have completely changed me, several times over, and I'm still in the process of completing cycles of transfiguration. I have walked the path of the wounded healer, and honoured to belong to a spiritual lineage that goes back to the Himalayas. I'm an eternal student of life. I've used up all my reserves of energy to make it to this point. 

Irrespective of what jobs I've held in the past, I'd say I offer core transferable skills, mainly to recognise potential in others and enable them to fulfil it, to take the work seriously but not myself, creativity, attention to detail, a wholehearted approach and maybe most importantly, to listen and be open to all possibilities. In the past, it's been tough trying to get back into work after extended periods of sickness, because companies are afraid to give me a chance. But the future looks different now. In the past 18 months hitRECord has been my world, where I've tested the water and pushed myself with every record.

What's the origin of your artist name?

I don't have an artist name. My username beingpaloma originated (years before joining hitRECord) from loving the Canadian TV series 'Being Erica' because time travel and Dr. Tom quotes.

What has been your biggest challenge with your art so far?

There's so much I want to try, so many things to learn and I feel quite overwhelmed. Because of time and energy constraints I have to focus and concentrate to deliver value. I'm not as prolific as I might wish! I'm mostly 'finding my feet' and haven't adhered to a particular distinguishing style, but I always put my heart into everything I do. I haven't tried to cater to what appeals to others (only myself) or for someone else's taste, unless it's a commission and there's a brief.

Who or what is your biggest influence?

Who? My spiritual partner, who saved my life. We don't have a conventional relationship, but are always mistaken for a couple, which we once were. If I hadn't met him the year I started university, I wouldn't still be here. Before him, I'd never experienced unconditional love in my life. He has been the single most positive influence on me. Lovers may come and go, but he'll always be the best man in the world that I know. If he asked me to 'jump off a cliff' I'd give it due consideration!

What? My vivid dreams. My inner worlds are rich and fulfilling enough to have sustained me in the darkest times of physical reality. And the universal intelligence.

What is your wildest story?

I've quite a few, that I'll have to leave to the imagination. The one I'm going to tell is maybe the mildest! I ended up dancing on the table at a posh Italian restaurant in the West End of London at my 18th birthday meal out with friends. I was wearing my usual uniform of mini-skirt, thick tights and Doc Marten ankle boots, plus rather drunk. Most of my friends were boys. I don't know how I got away with it, but we weren't thrown out. The Italian waiters were lovely. And I received lots of kisses that night. Then we all went dancing.

What is the last book you read?

'The Book of Joy' by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu with Douglas Abrams.

If you could be any character in fiction, who would you be?

Picking just one seems impossible! For a while I wanted to be Professor Song from 'Dr.Who'. She was never serious, always curious and mysterious. And again, time travel. It's obvious I like sci-fi, right? My enduring hero is Ripley from the 'Alien' film, but as a child I always wanted to be Wonder Woman hahaha with those magical bracelets and not a hair out of place. Or later, Modesty Blaise from the British comic strip. Her sense of humour cracked me up. Oh dear, that's quite enough for any psychiatrist to be getting on with...

What couldn’t you live without?

Music. It's always playing in the background of my life. The DJ in my mind sometimes gets stuck on love songs. Nevermind.

I've lived without so many things for over three years, operating at survival level, that I don't need much to appreciate life!

What is your secret talent?

I can levitate (in my dreams!)!!!!!!!!!

Tell me about the last dream you remember having?

I remember most of them. They are like blockbuster Hollywood movies and atmospheric indie films, visually stunning, with sensory impact. The last dream I remember was a curious one, rather mild and normal. My boss had taken us away for a team-building brain-storming break near the ocean. It was lush and I was enjoying swimming outside. We had been given an assignment and as usual I was 'late to the party' with most of my team mates having already submitted their work. I sat close to the left of my boss and saw that he skimmed through my written piece, smiling to himself, then quickly returning it to the bottom of the pile (to be read in order of submission). He didn't say anything and was pretty serious otherwise, not relaxing like the rest of us. I was new and felt my work wasn't good enough. At the end, my boss wasn't pleased to see me about to be whisked away by a blond haired, blue-eyed Greek God of a man. Although it was for a date, I felt the symbolism was much like me considering  working for another company. But in the dream I didn't understand why my boss thought that, because I was loyal to him. It was quite endearing actually ;-)

What are you craving right now?

A shot of tequila would do nicely. Maybe half a sliced avocado with honey and balsamic vinegar dressing. Or real strawberry milkshake. A couple of prawn gyoza. (No, I'm not pregnant, just a foodie!)

What was the last song you fell in love with?

'Fuck with me' by Wolffe

What do you like?

Everything really. I'm easily pleased. Simple things. Every day is a gift. Life is too short baby baby baby!!!

What do you dislike?

It'd be easy to say the same stuff as everyone else, but our dislikes are more revealing about ourselves than our likes. If I dislike something I don't waste my time and energy thinking about or being with. Suppression is pointless, and counter-productive, so acceptance is what I aim for. As Shantideva advised, 'if you can do something about it, do it, otherwise get on with your life' (it's hard enough).

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve been given?

“How long is a piece of string?” I have it framed on my lounge wall. It probably wouldn't make sense to anyone but me. It's just I've always had an inquisitive nature, trying to work things out, 'thinking too much' and my spiritual mentor would simply cut through all the knots I was tying myself up in, by waking me up with that one saying. It makes me laugh now, but at the beginning it would annoy me no end! It was like a personalized Zen kōan! I'd ask an earnest question, into which I'd put much soul searching and, he'd say that! It just means 'let it go' because so much in the universe is unknowable. Now, I know I know nothing.


How and why did you start RECording?

How? Summer 2015 was a definitive 'make or break' time for me. I felt close to losing my mind, due to physical torture (disease my body was doing), and maybe no way back. This had a profound effect on me, and I wept the first few times I watched it: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability

It was part of a massive change in direction for me, the catalyst for which happened only 1-2 weeks prior to seeing this video. I believe it led me to join hitRECord and jump straight in, having skirted around the site a few times previously. I joined about 1-2 months after making that choice to change forever. I came to renew my first love, writing, and almost everything else I did hadn't been attempted since childhood.

Why? To see if I could do it, presenting my best art from a residence in hell. I never expected anyone to take notice. It's a great motivator realising that other people might critique my art. In essence my art is me, like for most people on here I imagine. I had no comfort zone anyway, so it was an achievement, every piece I put out there. It was never easy. I didn't realise how lucky I was to find hitRECord. I'd been searching for a community all my life, and spiritual ones weren't the match I'd thought they'd be. This community has been wonderfully accepting of me, despite my many flaws.

So I may have shared more than I intended, but then if I were to answer again in a month it would read differently (because I'd be different) and, similarly if I'd answered this a year ago it'd be someone I used to be, answering these questions. I feel I've lived several lifetimes in just this one! If you have any questions for me, feel free to ask in the comments section, and I might even answer them sometime <3

WTF is beingpaloma? (Community Interview)

Created: Mar 09, 2017

Tags: irreverent, beingpaloma, questionnaire, introduce yourself, community interview, sincere, wtf, always laughing at myself, non-fiction, what the fuck is beingpaloma, q&a, what the fuck, who

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