live action short for Long Distance Relationship?

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I would love to see this as a live-action short, voiced over by Joe's narration. Something a bit like this, perhaps (I've never written screenplays, so bear with me as I try to describe this): Black screen. The tick of a clock is heard. It continues softly until the end of the short. Three-way split screen between two digital clocks on two different night stands, and a wall clock hanging in the foyer of an apartment building. Cut to a man entering an elevator. He rides alone for a moment, until the door opens and a woman enters. They are in the elevator together only briefly, as they continue from the second to the first floor, yet they steal glances at each other in a manner they think and hope is discreet. They exit together and proceed in different directions. (perhaps this could be done in several shots, with several different outfits, to show that this ride is a common occurance, yet they've never spoken) Cut to the clocks again. It reads 11:59 PM. The woman enters the elevator (perhaps coming back from a party). The doors begin to close as the man runs up. She holds the door for him. Cut to a tight shot of the clocks. The ticking gets louder as they simultaneously roll over to 12:00. The lights go out. The ticking stops and the digital clocks are blank. Emergency lights come on in the elevator, which has stopped between the first and second floor. The woman has fallen into the man from the jolt. Finally, they look at each other straight on for the first time. End.

Created: Dec 31, 2010

Tags: collab, film, live-action, long distance relationship

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