mr. commongood is an idiot

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Mr Commongood is an idiot!

There is no polite way to put it. Apparently he’s gotten wind of that old tale, that one that we all grew up with, which he apparently had been ignoring until just now, you know the one about the land of Nevernotwuz, how it holds some great secret… contains some hidden treasure or some such rot…?

Oh yes, oh yes! The man listening set his drink down on the table. Utter nonsense, that!

Indeed! And how we all know it! A silly children’s rhyme, for christ’s sake! We all know it’s nothing more than that! Hidden treasure, good heavens! Why, if they had some hidden treasure, why would in god’s name wouldn’t they have dug it up and taken it to the bank by now? Instead they sit around in rags living on roots and tubers way out there in the middle of nowhere….!

A small crowd had discreetly gathered around the distinguished looking gentleman curious as to what may have prompted this little outburst. The man caught them out of the corner of his eye and continued his oration.

What man in his right mind would sit on a pile of gold and go hungry when one coin would feed his entire family?

A few mutters of agreement could be heard.

No, the great fortune that these gentle people once owned was borne of hard work and nothing else, a farming folk who’s sweat and toil brought them their bounty, by the grace of god and excellent growing conditions, not some silly children’s story! This is no magical kingdom! Certainly that should be clear to everyone by now…

A man in the crowd cleared his throat. There are some people who give credence to the rumor….

Creedence! The gentlemen interrupted. Creedence indeed! And those sly men with they’re little theories have a firm grasp on only one thing….

With a brief pause for emphasis his eyes lit up and he addressed the crowd.

…. and that is the ear of Mr. Commongood!

This remark provoked an outburst of derisive laugher.

Yes, dear Mr. Commongood. Failed businessman, lauded only by himself, sought after by no one, is off to prove us wrong, I should say! He has it in his mind that he will show us all how cunning he is, how clever and on the ball he is, and we will all bow and nod his way as he passes instead of turning our backs as we do now! But the poor man will come back with a basket of parsnips and nothing else! He may find a truffle if he is lucky digging around in the rich soil of old Stitchtown but he certainly will not return with riches!

A development project is what I hear tell, the one odd voice of dissent continued. Again, all eyes turned towards this slender, waifish figure, who simply stared blankly back.

Oh yes, dear sir, he will pretend to be building something, no doubt. Mr. Commongood is never one to let his intentions be known. But what, dear sir, would be the point of rebuilding this town…. because that it what he would be doing, of course. There isn’t much there, you know…. Have you ever been….?

No, sir. I have not.

Well, I’ll tell you, kind sir, that it is but a small cluster of wooden shacks erected in the oddest little dip of a valley deep in the Metaforest. They’re only respite being that they are entirely cut off from the rest of the world. This modern world that we all know, sir, has passed them by, but I say, leave them to it! Certainly it’s a shame that they haven’t kept up but I sincerely doubt that anyone is going to want to move there! For what? Certainly there is no shortage of tubers here in the city!

Another round of laughter, followed by jovial mutterings.

The gentleman put his hand on the shoulder of the thin man and pulled him to closer to him as the crowd slowly dispersed.

A smile could be seen, hidden a bit by his mustache and he spoke in a lower tone now.

I like a man who doesn’t follow the crowd, even if he is dead wrong!

He winked.

But you will tell me if me you have any substantial information, won’t you?

He tapped his hand on the counter and the bartender immediately looked his way.

See to it that this man’s drinks go on my tab.

Though everyone in the establishment had gone back to their own conversations, one man stood in the corner observing the old gentleman and his new found friend as they continued to chat. Seemingly unseen by any of the patrons, the stranger stroked his long slender red beard.

Created: Nov 24, 2010


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