BAHAMA LLAMA

By micho.gonzo

(Intro-description of the world or something-)

Off the coast of northern Chile lies an island. An island with no name. An island that could only be simply described as paradise. Sadly, paradise being only word in existence to describe such a place, doesnt do it any justice, so it will simply have to suffice. A utopia suggests that a whole society takes part in the pleasures of such an island, but upon further research only one being has ever fully experienced and comprehended the type of paradise that this island provides. The kind of paradise that brings no excitement, no unwanted surprises. It is, for lack of a better word, boring. But the kind of boredom that few people find attractive. There is no loss of control and there is nothing to worry about. Bahama Llama is the name of that one being, and yes he is a real llama. He is a simple creature with no want of material possession or any need of adventure. How he came to arrive on this island is unknown, but being that Chile is a country were the majority of its populous is made up of llamas, it is safe to assume that he may have fallen into the ocean and gently drifted onto the islands shores, somehow. But Bahama Llamaís past hasn't crossed his mind in quite some time and as far as he knows his future holds nothing to worry about, nothing eventful or surprising. He is in fact living in paradise, a peaceful, peaceful paradise.
Our furry little protagonist does the same everyday. He reclines in a lawn chair on the eastern beach of his island, where a hut made of branches a palm leaves provides him with only a sense of shelter. Because on an island so calm shelter is practically unnecessary. He listens as the waves gently roll in and as the palm trees sway in the slight breeze. They appear to be singing a song of oyster buffets and margaritas with those tiny little umbrellas in them. Notice that a margarita is in fact what Bahama Llama is holding in his paw, in a coconut shell, and including one of those tiny little umbrellas. He loves this, sitting back, sunglasses on, with nothing to notice but the sunny weather and the smoothness of his drink. He couldn't hope for anything better.
As the progress of the sun's heat on his drink caused the ice to shift, despite the tiny umbrella. A tiny crab was toiling around underneath the broken shell of a coconut, trying to get bits of the nut that the llama didn't care to pick out. Bahama Llama did not notice the crab. His senses had been dulled by the island's acute boredom. It was a shame that he didn't see the crab. Having a respectful knowledge of the occult, Bahama Llama would have recognized the crab as a bad omen and prepared. Maybe he could have ran away and hid for a little while. See, crabs are regarded as bad signs in Chile, especially in the presence of an occult-knowledgeable llama. Many innocent creatures have found themselves in the shadow of a falling tree shortly after admiring the cute sideways scuttle of a harmless little crab. As it were, Bahama Llama had no time to prepare for the travesty heading straight for him at intolerably high speeds.
"oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! im gonna Die!" was the only warning he had. The noise came in over the wind and then silence replaced the usual source-less background music of Jimmy Buffet. He had never realized that Jimmy Buffet's music provided the atmosphere to which he had become so accustomed too, nor did he have any idea who Jimmy Buffet was. The silence that now overpowered the island was ironically the loudest thing he had ever heard. But the he hadn't had the slightest of time to wonder about the source of this new "noise" before it cannoned into him, sending llama, lawn chair, coconut shell drink complete with the little umbrella, and a general sense of distilled happiness whirling into the warm air.
The three formers landed at odd angles back onto the sand. The latter, having escaped gravity, had gone off to find calmer shores and another luckier soul. Bahama Llama raised himself up slowly, sand clinging to his muzzle. He readjusted his crooked sunglasses and looked around, his head swaying slightly from dizziness. His coconut cup lay drained on the sand to his left and his hopelessly demolished lawn chair lay to his right. His hut however, remained uninterrupted. A few yards away was the tiny little crab, clicking innocently. He regarded it with a grimace. He remembered the noise and wanders about looking for any signs of its existence or remains. Looking under a palm tree he finds a shapeless bundle resembling a burlap sack. He stares at it a while, unsure of what it could be and why it had arrived. It didn't move. Foreign objects worried Bahama Llama. Especially inanimate foreign objects because those were the kind that had the potential to become animate, and animate objects had the potential to pull out concealed weapons and harm him. Being a cautious llama and not a big fan of curiosity he decides not to involve himself with such an object while keeping a close eye on it. But as every living being on the planet has experienced, curiosity is a powerful force that cannot simply be controlled. So after a few minutes of watching this dirty little thing not move. He picks up a long stick of driftwood and tentatively pokes at the sack. It produces a small sound. Bahama Llama took this as a sign and began to beat it savagely...

to be continued...

...eventually


There ís more to the story-

A lot more. This sack holds a tiny llama, a runt. This runt without any explanation believes that our hero is the prophesized creature that is destined to fulfill some mysterious quest. BL is having none of this nonsense. The runt uses a bribe of reestablishing peace back onto his island as incentive. BL agrees and at that very moment he is literally yanked out of this peaceful and recently interrupted existence into a messy unwanted adventure. The goal of the Quest is never truly apparent to BL or the reader but the rest of the world seems to know what the hell is going on. The world is made up of a mixture of time periods, a blend of reality and fantasy, also a mixture of religious icons and cultural symbolism, and plenty of made up mythology and occultist beliefs. Its kind of a history of the world type of deal, seen through the eyes of a llama who couldnít care less.


We (my friend and I) plan to make a sort of graphic novel out of the story. we'll get to it eventually when he gets home from his naval duties and i get finished with film school. this is just sort of a teaser we've had for a while now

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BAHAMA LLAMA

Created: Jan 16, 2010

Tags: story, fiction, llama, bahama, childrens, beach, island, quest

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