making sense is senseless / i miss you so

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No one should have to feel so alone. I would have hugged you everyday. I would have told you how beautiful you are to me and how your strength was my motivation to stand up in a room of 300 people. I would have sent more letters. Post cards with short catch-ups and pages of stories from London and back. I would have met you that day for coffee instead of canceling to help my neighbor with the move. I’m staring into an empty mug right now. Sleep seems like some unattainable state of calm. The card you made me when we graduated is tattooed to my skull. The words comfort and haunt me when I blink or drift off for a second or two. Making sense is senseless. I would have finished that painting I’d been picking up and putting down for 2 years, never quite matching up to your worth. I would have dwelled on the past more often. You probably didn’t know how triangles still made me think of you or how I preferred your singing voice to the radio. It’s true. I may spend a lot of time with these unfinished thoughts floating around my brain. But I’d like to think that now you’re not alone. And now, you know.

Created: Nov 18, 2010

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