NEXT: Paul Katani
B: Tell us about yourself
K: 34 years old, grew up in San Fransicso, older sister and older brother, my mom lives here and my dad lives in santa clara. Went to St Anns and St Ignatius prep, then Santa Clara College and UCLA for masters in fine arts. Work for Equinox Fitness, as a Group manager.
B: You heard Mr Zerrillo describe your relationship, right? Please tell us, would you like to marry him?
B: Did you try to marry?
B Did you apply
K: Yes, we were denied in May 2009.
B: Why did you want to marry?
K: It’s the natural next step when you love someone.
B: How would your relationship change if you married?
K: Being married gives us access to THE LANGUAGE: we don’t like calling each other lover,partner sounds like we’re in business together — everyone understand what HUSBAND means.
B: What are your views about children?
K: I would love to have a family
B: Why not, then?
K: Marriage comes first for us, the protections, the language. Beyond the language, it represents us to our community and our society. Our kids would be protected.
B: Would your children be disadvantaged by your not being married?
K: Yes, a marriage creates a more stable home, when viewed by society.
B: Does not being married affect how people view you and Jeff?
OBJECTION, overruled, state of mind of the witness
K: (choking up) Unless you have to deal with the constant validation of self, explaining that we’re not a Subchapter partnership. Why should I be excluded? Why shouldn’t we hav these same terms?
B: Always gay/openly gay question?
K: I struggled, surrounded by everything heterosexual, didn’t want to deal with situations that seemed outside the norm. I had a girlfriend in high school, because you needed one to attend the prom or the dance or the game. We confide in people, and then they say we’ve been waiting for you to tell us! I never wanted to have those conversations as if something was WRONG with being gay. I always told myself I would be exemplary — I wanted to put a good face on it, LISTEN, this is my boyfriend and he’s coming home for Thanksgiving.
B: Have you experienced discrimination?
K: First time in college with gay friends going out, sitting on a patio at a gay restaurant, suddenly rocks and eggs came over the wall with slurs. I just accepted that; that’s part of our struggle. I was finally feeling comfortable in my skin, but I realized I would always face this. More recently, discussions and amicable arguments with people about my rights under Prop 8. Lots of people said, marriage is not for you people anyway. Others said, what’s the big deal (chokes up) Regardless of how proud you are, it doesn’t change the shame.
K: I;m not less patriotic, I’m not a lesser American, I’m tired of these constant reminders being put in a corner and told I’m different.
B: What circumstances did people say marriage is not for you?
K: In traffic in Los Angeles, which is like having coffee with the same person in the car next to you. Their car had a YES ON 8 sticker, I pulled up to see who this person is — and I got a look, WHAT? And I said, I disagree with your bumper sticker, and she said, MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR YOU PEOPLE. And I was completely speechless, I told Jeff later, why couldn’t I respond?
B: What was the image on the bumper sticker.
K: It had a parent and a child, it reminded me how the Prop 8 campaign used children in their campaign; Protect The Children. when I think of protecting children, I think of protecting them from harm, like drugs or a pedophile or a criminal — something that could harm your child. It’s so INSULTING even to insinuate that I am part of that category. To lump this issue together — to say that my marriage to Jeff means a child will be harmed. You put my nieces and nephews (chokes up) they will tell you they don’t need protection from me or Jeff. And to tell people that I’m in a criminal category.
Created: Jan 14, 2010Document Media