I wrote this in late February 2009. I was trying to deal and decided to channel my feelings into something constructive for Self-Injury Awareness Day. I've never shown it to anyone, but decided to bite the bullet and post it here, even though it's a month and a half early.
I’ve got that urge again -
That urge to mark my pain on my skin,
To put it on the outside so it hurts less in.
I promised myself no more.
I’ve made that promise before,
But times like these it’s hard to keep.
All I want is to see red
From safety pins scratching til I’ve bled
Or welts from belts and surfaces hot
I want to be strong, but I fear I’m not.
I feel guilty and insane.
But there many others like me,
Hurting and ashamed of their self-injury,
Wanting to stop and get beyond the pain
Praying this trying won’t be in vain.
It’s not. We can get help.
We can stop and still survive
And be happy.
Created: Jan 10, 2010ellesbells Document Media