The effects came slowly. Almost secretly. It had been about 2 hours before I was sure of it's presence. At first, I couldn't tell if I was tripping or just plain high. Music magnified it. The sounds and absence of lights helped me to let go.
Once aware of the change in me, the more aware of my surroundings I became. When hearing a song, I could separate every instrument into different layers. When I closed my eyes and reclined, it felt like my brain was doing a slow back flip. I did not see an addition of colors, or the movement of immobile objects. My visuals were unaffected. The big change was in how I was thinking, and what I heard. My thought process became so complexed, that I became nauseous and had to go outside. I closed my eyes, felt the back flip in my head, and rest my head against the railing on the porch. When my brain exhaled and started to ignore the layers of thoughts, I was able to go back inside.
My band and I had set up our amplifiers in a pyramid in front of a microphone, hanging from the ceiling fan, recording into a tape recorder. Although unable to really stay together or focused the entire time, some of the sounds we captured made my heart feel twice it's appropriate size.
We went on an adventure and walked to Albertson's for snacks and cigarettes. I got lost in one of the aisles. After spending 20 minutes searching for the right cookies, I went to check out. Ryan and I were in line talking to the cashier. I was looking right at him the entire time. All I could think was, "This is a really nice guy." It took me about 5 minutes to realize that he had a major, facial deformity. It was one of the most meaningful, inner experiences I had ever had. For the first time in my life, I was able to see completely through someone's appearance to who they really were as a person. I fully let go of all judgment.
After returning to the apartment, and playing more music, Jamie and I walked to the parking lot to have a cigarette. At that location, I had two more inner experiences, but this time shared. A young lady walked past us. She didn't say anything; we didn't say anything. None of us could've looked at all threatening to the other. Almost out of our sight, Jamie said, "We don't know her." I added, "But she was so close." I had a sense of understanding and accepting. Every day we all get so close to so many people, but we're all living in our own world.
A short time later, the road got loud, and I looked to see why. A large semi truck was driving fairly fast. As it went by, we shared the same thought. "I see him, but I don't know where he's going." This led me to another sense of understanding and accepting. With everything that we see and know, there's so much more that we don't. So much more to learn
After more music, we all sat down to watch TV. Certain lines began to bend on the screen for me, but I couldn't be sure if I was just tired.
During my sleep, I had no dreams that I could remember after waking, or even the sense of having them at all. However, I could remember the inner experiences that I had the night before, and could still feel how I did when they occurred.
Created: Sep 23, 2010Document Media