string of consciousness... (1)

By the_west_coast_lady

silently alive
a dormant expectancy
for a new break, a new start
nothing changes, yet everything does
i stay the same, but nobody thinks so
wasting time in this wasteful life
i know what i want, yet not know how to obtain
and it's exhausting
everyday, i drown
slowly, painlessly, desperating
and a part of me dies
gasping for breath
cold and scalding all at once
but some hope remains
some of the little things that keep me rooted
the little things that make me fly
a light that creep into my darkness
and it makes me smile
i wonder how could i not go on
not even try
why feel like i could die
when all these things that make me happy
make me feel so alive
so silently alive
it breaks my heart
it fills my heart

*****
i'm not depressed. i just feel a little overwhelmed every new year, like i have too many expectations for myself. and i have to tell myself: take it one day at a time.

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string of consciousness... (1)

Created: Jan 06, 2010

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