The Fredward Copperknocker Incident

By RichieMillennium

I don't have an ending for this setup. Maybe somebody else does?


Two people are standing in an airport. Both are holding signs that read "Fredward Copperknocker". One of them is dressed in a chauffeur's uniform. The other is wearing jeans, a ragged shirt, and flip flops. The chauffeur notices the other person, double-checks his own sign, and then nervously approaches the other.


Chauffeur: Are you... can I help you?


Flip flops: Hey! Are you Fredward Copperknocker?


Chauffeur: No. No I... wait, why would I be holding a sign with my own name on it?


Flip flops: I don't know man, it's your life. Maybe you get lost easily?


Chauffeur: No I... no. I'm a chauffeur, I'm here to pick up Fredward Copperknocker.


Flip flops: Oh wow! Small world, am I right? I'm here to pick up a guy named Fredward Copperknocker too!


Chauffeur: Yes, I saw your sign. There must be some mistake.


Flip flops: Well, not necessarily, right? So, think about this: we could be picking up two different Fredward Copperknockers.


Chauffeur: I don't... that seems unlikely. I mean, do you know a lot of people named Fredward? Or Copperknocker, for that matter?


Flip flops: Yeah, well I know some Fredwards.


Chauffeur: You know some Fredwards?


Flip flops: I know some Fredwards. But I mean, I don't go around calling them Fredward all the time, I just call them Fred, or Freddy, or Your Honor, or what-have-you.


Chauffeur: Well, OK. I guess. But still, you can't possibly know anyone named Copperknocker, it's obviously a made-up name.


Flip flops: Oh ho, not so fast, compadre! When I was a kid we lived in a town with a whole bunch of Copperknockers.


Chauffeur: Really???


Flip flops: Yeah man, we were surrounded by Copperknockers.


Chauffeur: You must be kidding.


Flip flops: No for real! I went to my first all-ages show with Gwenelope Copperknocker, I used to sneak cigarettes behind the high school with Kenedict Copperknocker, but we never got in trouble because his dad was the mayor, you know?


Chauffeur: Mayor Copperknocker?


Flip flops: Yeah, so you know him?


Chauffeur: What? No! 


Flip flops: Well OK, but how should I know? I'm not privy to your affairs.


Chauffeur: You're not privy...


Flip flops: (phone rings) Oh wait, I should take this. (answers) Hey Mr. Copperknocker! How's it hanging man?



The Fredward Copperknocker Incident

Created: Aug 23, 2015

Tags: fredward copperknocker, chauffeur, gwenelope copperknocker, dialogue, flip flops, kenedict copperknocker, airport

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